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maddox

Idol of impressionable computer geeks everywhere.

For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.

According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:

1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.

2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.

3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Maddox isn't your role model and god. Fucking go outside and do something with your life. If you are any sort of a real man, you should be able to think independently rather than copycatting another loser.

Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.

Maddox basically states that "men":

1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
by C Tan November 16, 2007
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sand nigger

Sand niggers have a very bigoted view of their religion. They proclaim that their religion, in contrast to the thousands of differing religions, societies, cults around the world, that Islam is somehow the example of being the most righteous, true, and purified of sin, and therefore, EVERYBODY has to be a worshipper of Islam, or die.

To help mitigate the restless mobs rioting over food, shelter, and medical supplies, they point their fingers at examples of western civilization, countries of Europe or most likely, North America, in order to transfer the blame of why they live in such a bomb-strewn dusty shit-hole on those with more money than them, and get three meals a day.
The sand niggers were angry over the power shortage caused by their own suicide bombers destroying the local power plant, so they took off their shoes and threw them at pictures of President Bush.
by C Tan October 9, 2006
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Tabasco Challenge

Where a bunch of stupid teenagers try to race by singeing off all of their pubic hairs with Tabasco Sauce.
Hey lets have a Tabasco Challenge!

*hisssssss....*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
by C Tan October 2, 2007
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ipod

Something that hypocritical pricks on Urban Dictionary decide to criticize and say that they'll won't buy it to remain "non-conforming", yet buy it anyways in secret.
UD Poster - I bought a iPod, because I'm a slave to the Apple Corporation. Also I have a fetish for anything thats covered in a albino-white casing that demasculizes my otherwise tough-looking street clothes.
by C Tan June 11, 2006
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msg

Monosodium Glutamate, the brainchild of a top-secret Oriental-sponsored military project to render white people bald, fat, and impotent for the impending yellow invasion commencing in the 22nd Century.

Adding MSG to common foods found in your local Ranch 99 market was not difficult, since Monosodium Glutamate is practically the only thing in Oriental cuisine ("Chinese food") that tastes good to non-Asians.
Save yourselves and avoid buying products imported from the Far East containing MSG.
by C Tan July 12, 2006
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Driver's Ed

A high school credit class where you fork over $95 of your parent’s money to be yelled at by a skinny, balding, half-pint, 40-year old Caucasian loser whose only determination is to subdue every helpless senior student in order to redeem his irretrievable dignity. In order to compensate for years of well-deserved torment in his early years, he dangles the prospect of getting behind the wheel of an automobile to keep his pupils pacified.

Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Driver's Ed Teacher: *Snort*, Nyaaah.... now, none of you are doing to make anything of your lives. If you already have a police citation, then you might as well be a ex-con employee slaving away at Wal*Mart because no professional employer with a decent perception of work ethics were to hire you... *snort snort*

I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...

Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
by C Tan December 25, 2005
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popular

People who WILL rule the world, and WILL become idol figures of society. Why? Because even if they are unskilled dolts, they have something you pimply-faced squibs don't have, charisma.

Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.

If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Well Mr. Wong, everything seems to be in order here.

Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*

Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!

20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up

Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?

Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?

Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!

He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
by C Tan December 28, 2005
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