c tan's definitions
A bunch of academic quacks who have substantial abilities in faking their exaggerated reasoning abilities, and resent doing "real work" because they consider it "beneath them".
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
Pseudointellectuals believe in God and his Son's birth only during the Christmas season, so they can upgrade their cell phone plans and state their own independence from "mainstream" society by buying overpriced shirts from the Abercrombie captioned "Fuck Bush".
by C Tan April 18, 2006
Get the pseudointellectual mug.Where a bunch of stupid teenagers try to race by singeing off all of their pubic hairs with Tabasco Sauce.
Hey lets have a Tabasco Challenge!
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
by C Tan October 2, 2007
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For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Maddox isn't your role model and god. Fucking go outside and do something with your life. If you are any sort of a real man, you should be able to think independently rather than copycatting another loser.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
by C Tan November 16, 2007
Get the maddox mug.Tasty looking things, without a proper definite size, usually they can range from narrow and long, to miniscule and round. This gives me the impression that Cheetos are just made from the dough-runoffs of other snack food brands, so the makers can just make some extra money.
Manager: The immigrant workers have been complaining about constantly scooping off the excess dough from the cutouts of our Doritos brand.
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
by C Tan April 14, 2006
Get the cheetos mug.Excellent way to keep virgins from leaving their homes.
It makes sure their useless genome does not contaminate the rest of the world.
It makes sure their useless genome does not contaminate the rest of the world.
I don't think girls care if you got a level 80 Death Knight in World of Warcraft if your still 29 and didn't get laid yet.
by C Tan September 11, 2007
Get the world of warcraft mug.Modern pop culture does not hate it because its "boring", they hate the people who listen to it because it makes themselves feel "smart" and "deep".
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Upon posting this definition of "classical music", a ragtag lynch mob composed of angry college professors, browbeaten Asians with violins, and dweeby bookworms has assembled before my home half a second later to have me tarred and feathered.
by C Tan May 9, 2006
Get the Classical Music mug.Something that impressionable nerds started chowing down on just because Maddox, Chuck Norris, and United States Marines started to talk about the stuff, so wimpy skinny nerds love it too!
Its like when people started twirling pens when they saw Top Gun. Of course they felt it looked retarded, but it looked cool in front of the chicks.
Unfortunately it doesn't obscure the fact that you have poor hygiene, a ugly face, and poor social skills. All you achieved is totally destroying all your taste buds with a shitty sauce thats based upon pure-heat than flavor.
Its like when people started twirling pens when they saw Top Gun. Of course they felt it looked retarded, but it looked cool in front of the chicks.
Unfortunately it doesn't obscure the fact that you have poor hygiene, a ugly face, and poor social skills. All you achieved is totally destroying all your taste buds with a shitty sauce thats based upon pure-heat than flavor.
The only good use for Tabasco Sauce is to hide the lousy taste of terrible cooking.
Otherwise it just ruins and vandalizes good ol' homecooked flavor with vinegar, peppar, and salt.
Your a loser if you eat Tabasco sauce just because Maddox said so. Go BECOME a role model instead of imitating a crazed internet nerd who worked as a telemarketer. You fail at everything in life if you can't make your own decisions and rely on Maddox to tell you what.
Yeah I know there are other crappy flavors of Tabasco, but you'll just get called a faggot by a insecure nerd for looking at a bottle of chipotle sauce.
Otherwise it just ruins and vandalizes good ol' homecooked flavor with vinegar, peppar, and salt.
Your a loser if you eat Tabasco sauce just because Maddox said so. Go BECOME a role model instead of imitating a crazed internet nerd who worked as a telemarketer. You fail at everything in life if you can't make your own decisions and rely on Maddox to tell you what.
Yeah I know there are other crappy flavors of Tabasco, but you'll just get called a faggot by a insecure nerd for looking at a bottle of chipotle sauce.
by C Tan September 11, 2007
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