18 definitions by C Tan

A course lecturing in the virtues of yellow supremacy, and the delusional outlook on how life would be if orientals had ruled the world. "Asian Studies" majors are typically very whiny about the lack of opportunities of the socially inept Asian male, and the objectification and "theft" of "their women".

Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Asian Studies Major: Look at me, I scrog self-hating, rice-eatin' chicks with a hyperplatinum credit rating on my Premium Wells Fargo account! Don't fuck with me, nor point out my obvious social insecurities less I drop a six-figure income onto your ass!
by C Tan November 12, 2005
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Charter Communications Marketing Plan:

1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan October 19, 2007
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Something that impressionable nerds started chowing down on just because Maddox, Chuck Norris, and United States Marines started to talk about the stuff, so wimpy skinny nerds love it too!

Its like when people started twirling pens when they saw Top Gun. Of course they felt it looked retarded, but it looked cool in front of the chicks.

Unfortunately it doesn't obscure the fact that you have poor hygiene, a ugly face, and poor social skills. All you achieved is totally destroying all your taste buds with a shitty sauce thats based upon pure-heat than flavor.

The only good use for Tabasco Sauce is to hide the lousy taste of terrible cooking.

Otherwise it just ruins and vandalizes good ol' homecooked flavor with vinegar, peppar, and salt.

Your a loser if you eat Tabasco sauce just because Maddox said so. Go BECOME a role model instead of imitating a crazed internet nerd who worked as a telemarketer. You fail at everything in life if you can't make your own decisions and rely on Maddox to tell you what.

Yeah I know there are other crappy flavors of Tabasco, but you'll just get called a faggot by a insecure nerd for looking at a bottle of chipotle sauce.
by C Tan September 3, 2007
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Dolphins, killer whales, and penguins.

Sometimes silly humans think they are dolphins too, and eat nothing but fish and plants, sometimes flopping deep into the ocean to hunt for food, but getting gnawed apart by a hungry school of sharks instead.
Yeah, Danny thought he was a pescetarian, so he jumped off the cruise ship to look for food, but then a great white ate him!
by C Tan October 28, 2007
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Alot of people seem to have the exact definition of patriotism wrong.

Patriotism is the pride in your country, to love your nation because of what it defends and maintains, or in our case, freedom.

However, some twisted fuckers confused it with nationalism, which is NOT patriotism, and is really to submit yourself to the authority of your government, and do everything you can do maintain the survival of your militant nation, especially self sacrifice in the name of blind hate and racism.

A real American example of patriotism is one that defends our rights of protest and freedom. This may also include debating our Federal Government's decisions on social security, medicare, banking, as well as wars.

A fake, sick, un-American, nationalist bigot is some idiot who supports unjust wars in the name of getting to watch muslims die on CNN, without any interest in improving or reforming unjust social and political conditions.

by C Tan October 17, 2007
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Excellent way to keep virgins from leaving their homes.

It makes sure their useless genome does not contaminate the rest of the world.
I don't think girls care if you got a level 80 Death Knight in World of Warcraft if your still 29 and didn't get laid yet.
by C Tan September 3, 2007
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Modern pop culture does not hate it because its "boring", they hate the people who listen to it because it makes themselves feel "smart" and "deep".

Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".

For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.

Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.

Upon posting this definition of "classical music", a ragtag lynch mob composed of angry college professors, browbeaten Asians with violins, and dweeby bookworms has assembled before my home half a second later to have me tarred and feathered.
by C Tan April 28, 2006
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