archyis's definitions

Chelephant

The hybrid beast that is created by cross breeding a chimp with an elephant.

Newscaster - "Now here we see the New Zealand native Chelephant which is a sad animal...for it has the ability to climb trees but tragically no tree can support it's weight"

by archyis January 14, 2010

Technology Budget Filibuster

The business tactic of stalling and forcing technology engineers to provide redundant documentation and plans in the hopes of dragging the project out so it will not have to be funded despite already being approved.

"Could you please provide a more detailed project plan" asked Freddy

"How much more detailed can it get? Are you are not pulling a technology budget filibuster on me?" responded Richard

"You caught me Ralph...they are trying not to fund this project this year even though it was approved" admitted Freddy.

by archyis July 7, 2009

Put it in the cloud

A generic and naive response to a technology problem which effectively takes the problem out of the realm of an organization's responsibility. This basically equates to outsourcing technology solutions which end up being inferior service for twice the cost.

Engineer - "We need $10,000 and another full time employee to re-engineer and manage this technology"
CIO - "We should just put it in the cloud"
Engineer - "What cloud?"
CIO - Looks around nervously..."The one there..." as he points to a picture of a cloud on the cover of his new CIO magazine.
Engineer - Returns to his cube where he promptly hangs himself with an ethernet cable.

by archyis August 28, 2009

Office Vigilante

Cubicle dweller or office employee who seeks justice and revenge against the evil forces residing within the work environment.

Inspired by watching Charles Bronson in DeathWish, I intend to be an Office Vigilante so I can right all of the wrongs that occur within our office. I got my sock full of quarters and am ready to unleash on some fools!

by archyis November 8, 2009

Fiveshadowing

Blatently obvious foreshadowing which commonly occurs within poorly written horror movies.

Man - "Hah, they just showed a guy working with a wood chipper. You know some fool is going to end up getting his ass chipped to death. This is classic fiveshadowing."

Woman - "Oh yeah...you know someone is going to get Fargo'd now"

by archyis January 2, 2010

Random Spot Adrenaline

The curious phenomenon that occurs when a stranger spots you at the gym in which you are able to lift heavier than usual.
This can occur due to a number of factors -

1. You do not want to be embarrassed by not being able to hit the weight you loaded up on the bar in front of a stranger.
2. You do not trust that you will get a safe spot from this stranger so as part of self-preservation the adrenaline kicks in.
3. You fear that the stranger will assist when you don't need it, so you enable beast mode.
(A combination of several of these scenarios are common occurrences)

"Dude, I hit 190 for 5 reps on incline today like it was nothing." said Jimmy

"Whoa, you didn't come close to that last week...what gives?" queries Jefferson.

"Must have been the random spot adrenaline kicking in" replied Jimmy

by archyis July 2, 2009

Skunk in the trunk

A humorous phrase used to denote the wretched stench of a person’s unwashed posterior.

Guy 1 - Bejeezus, the locker room in this gym smells like dead rats and broken dreams! I mean, it smells so bad in here that I do believe I am losing childhood memories somehow.

Guy 2 - No kidding, someone has really got a skunk in the trunk yo!

by archyis January 5, 2010