al-in-chgo's definitions
How a person travels (frequently impromptu) who uses no special-affinity credit cards (that tie into retailers, hoteliers, etc.), keeps no priority accounts with hotel chains, does not accumulate airline miles, nor qualifies for rebates or discounts, nor contributes to add-a-dollar or round-it-up programs.
"When I travel I go where I want to go when I want to go. I don't travel often, but when I do I pay standard fare or phone ahead. I don't rack up hotel points, airline points, Amtrak points, cruise-ship points, department store points, major-league team points, hotel/motel points, rent-a-car points or charity points. I pay what I pay and if it's too much, I shop around or don't go. Nobody needs to know my password or log-in, and I don't get a dozen e-mails a week. I get bumps and privileges like you wouldn't believe. Nothing influences my choice of company or chain when I travel. That's called flying Priority None."
by al-in-chgo May 10, 2010
Get the Priority Nonemug. Legoland is that place in your town or urban area where medium-height buildings (10-25 stories) seem to have sprouted almost overnight between about 1985 and today. Such an area with a high Legoland factor will boast modestly asymmetrical offices and hotels, and a fair degree of dark gray window glass, set among multilane roads and parking garages. Because of zoning designed to benefit large corporate builders, there will be an absence of such attractive nuisances as billboards and strip malls. Public transit will be close to nonexistent.
--What's the most Legoland place in the Chicago area?
--Many people would say Schaumburg but I would nominate the area west of Chicago at the intersection of the I-88 Reagan Toll Road and I-355. The buildings are all modern and were probably considered modestly daring in the past 25 years when they were built, but in reality are unchallenging and dull.
--Why doesn't Schaumburg qualify?
--It has some newer buildings but also lots from the mid-Sixties to the mid-Eighties, a style more Judgment City than Legoland.
(see "Judgment City").
--Many people would say Schaumburg but I would nominate the area west of Chicago at the intersection of the I-88 Reagan Toll Road and I-355. The buildings are all modern and were probably considered modestly daring in the past 25 years when they were built, but in reality are unchallenging and dull.
--Why doesn't Schaumburg qualify?
--It has some newer buildings but also lots from the mid-Sixties to the mid-Eighties, a style more Judgment City than Legoland.
(see "Judgment City").
by al-in-chgo June 19, 2011
Get the Legolandmug. Erotic magazine advertisement, ca. 2004: "You can go from knob slob to blow job champ (by buying this book) . . . "
by al-in-chgo June 16, 2011
Get the knob slobmug. Piss Hard-On (or Hardon):
A graphic way to describe the male condition of waking up with a very stiff erection coupled with a need to urinate.
The leading causes of this syndrome are thought to be:
1) a full bladder rubs against the prostate gland which then arouses the rest of a man's sexual machinery as though getting ready for intercourse; or the more recent theory, that
2) during a routine night's sleep, a man will have four or five erections but usually they don't awaken him. This is probably the body's way of running "routine diagnostic checks" on his various systems, including sexual readiness. The one that wakes you up either because it's time to wake up or because you're dying to go to the bathroom is the P.H-O.
A graphic way to describe the male condition of waking up with a very stiff erection coupled with a need to urinate.
The leading causes of this syndrome are thought to be:
1) a full bladder rubs against the prostate gland which then arouses the rest of a man's sexual machinery as though getting ready for intercourse; or the more recent theory, that
2) during a routine night's sleep, a man will have four or five erections but usually they don't awaken him. This is probably the body's way of running "routine diagnostic checks" on his various systems, including sexual readiness. The one that wakes you up either because it's time to wake up or because you're dying to go to the bathroom is the P.H-O.
I hate the term "Piss Hard-On". It's ugly. Much better to me are "morning wood" or the evocative "morning glory," which is the term we used in the (USA) South.
For a funny look at how difficult it is to pee with an erection, look at the DVD outtakes of Steve Carrel's movie THE FORTY-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN.
For a funny look at how difficult it is to pee with an erection, look at the DVD outtakes of Steve Carrel's movie THE FORTY-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN.
by al-in-chgo February 24, 2010
Get the Piss Hard-Onmug. 1. Southernism. Adds a certain repugnance to describe an idea, remark or occurrence that fell flat, killed conversation, was socially unacceptable, or went over like the proverbial lead balloon.
2. Similarly, a gauche, socially inept or unwelcome person who has a stultifying effect on social gatherings, or, by extension, was involved in some futile or hugely unpopular effort.
2. Similarly, a gauche, socially inept or unwelcome person who has a stultifying effect on social gatherings, or, by extension, was involved in some futile or hugely unpopular effort.
.
1. -- "All I did was tell one harmless little dirty joke and the whole room went silent. Apparently I had crossed some kind of taboo. No one even chuckled at the joke; it was a veritable turd in the punchbowl. I felt like one too, since the whole party immediately seized up and everyone stared at me."
2.(a) -- "There we were discussing local politics, and who shows up uninvited and parks himself right in the middle of our group? Little Georgie, the mayor's brat, who has an unerring sense of inappropriateness. I'd rather see a turd in the punch bowl than have to deal with that nuisance."
(b) "Practically everyone in town was in favor of a weeknight youth curfew, but as usual our "freethinking" pastor went contrary and opposed it. He didn't change anyone's mind. I think he's a jinx! A turd in the punch bowl of civic affairs."
1. -- "All I did was tell one harmless little dirty joke and the whole room went silent. Apparently I had crossed some kind of taboo. No one even chuckled at the joke; it was a veritable turd in the punchbowl. I felt like one too, since the whole party immediately seized up and everyone stared at me."
2.(a) -- "There we were discussing local politics, and who shows up uninvited and parks himself right in the middle of our group? Little Georgie, the mayor's brat, who has an unerring sense of inappropriateness. I'd rather see a turd in the punch bowl than have to deal with that nuisance."
(b) "Practically everyone in town was in favor of a weeknight youth curfew, but as usual our "freethinking" pastor went contrary and opposed it. He didn't change anyone's mind. I think he's a jinx! A turd in the punch bowl of civic affairs."
by al-in-chgo February 28, 2010
Get the turd in the punch bowlmug. The process of erection in a man, whereby his penis gets stiffer and larger, and sometimes points away from the body at an angle.
Adjective form: "tumescent."
After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).
.
Adjective form: "tumescent."
After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).
.
"It was a pretty normal tumescence, but it took longer than usual."
"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."
.
"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."
.
by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
Get the tumescencemug. Typically a Mutual Fund is an investment fund aimed at individual investors sponsored by an investment (or "mutual fund") house like Fidelity, Vanguard or T. Rowe Price. Each fund holds a "market basket" of stocks or bonds and individual investors buy into the fund by buying a share at "Net Asset Value," which is the total worth of the fund's holdings, calculated every day, divided by the number of shares outstanding. In other words, a mutual fund whose portfolio (value of all holdings) is worth a million dollars that has a hundred thousand shares outstanding will value those shares at ten dollars apiece. A typical stock-based mutual fund can earn its investors money in three ways: the dividends and capital gains that stocks pay out, and possible appreciation of the fund value per share.
For an individual investor, the advantage of owning a mutual fund is that s/he achieves diversity -- mutual funds own more than fifty stocks, on average -- that could not be achieved by buying a typical hundred shares of stock in only a few corporations. The disadvantages of such funds are that the "load" (sales commission) involved in buying or selling such funds can be considerable, and all funds incur some sort of service fees; that's how the investment house earns its money. Also, no "equity" or stock-based investment is guaranteed.
For an individual investor, the advantage of owning a mutual fund is that s/he achieves diversity -- mutual funds own more than fifty stocks, on average -- that could not be achieved by buying a typical hundred shares of stock in only a few corporations. The disadvantages of such funds are that the "load" (sales commission) involved in buying or selling such funds can be considerable, and all funds incur some sort of service fees; that's how the investment house earns its money. Also, no "equity" or stock-based investment is guaranteed.
.
"My broker wants me to buy shares in something called an "open-end fund" but I don't know what that means."
"That's just a way to describe the majority of mutual funds, which remain open to all new investors who have the money to invest in them."
.
"My broker wants me to buy shares in something called an "open-end fund" but I don't know what that means."
"That's just a way to describe the majority of mutual funds, which remain open to all new investors who have the money to invest in them."
.
by al-in-chgo March 25, 2010
Get the Mutual Fundmug.