al-in-chgo's definitions

fappal tunnel syndrome

From FAP + carPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

Getting a strained wrist from working a computer mouse with one hand (e.g., to download porn), and jacking self off with the other. It's generally the lower of the two wrists that develops the syndrome first.

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"Jed says his right (left) wrist hurts."

"Probably poor ergonomic design at his workstation. He's wanked himself into a case of Fappal Tunnel Syndrome. Someone get a crowbar and pry him off that computer. Sheesh!"

by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011

Gonatophile

A person who loves knees, or who has a fetish for human knees.

From the Greek GONATOs + PHILE, "Knee" and "Lover of."

Not to be confused with "gonad."

- "Suzy's dress was too long, I couldn't see her knees."

- "What are you, some sort of gonatophile?"

by al-in-chgo November 12, 2015

pun

A play on words. Generally a pun takes a word that is quite understandable in context and replaces it with a homonym (same-sounding word) to create an entirely new meaning, or replaces a word with a similar-sounding one to the same effect.

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A pun involving a word with two possible meanings --

Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:

"You're going to feel a little prick."

Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."

* * *

A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --

A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

Jes sayin'

A mild dialect-in-writing variant of "just sayin'," a phrase that follows a statement or affirmation that might potentially give offense in order to defuse any insult.

Standard English equivalent = "No offense."

"You buzzed that guy in? Suppose he was some sort of murderer or rapist?"

"That so-called murderer and rapist just happens to be my brother."

"Jes sayin'."

by al-in-chgo October 31, 2013

Wingnut Welfare Queen

Popularized by the blog Sadly, No, the term "Wingnut Welfare Queen" refers not to a poor person, but to a low-talent, self-appointed pundit of the right, male or female, of the type who have become prominent in large patches of media, Washington D.C. think tanks and the Republican Party, and who depend on some mix of right-wing money, praise or contacts to boost and further their careers. Putting the "wingnut" in Wingnut Welfare Queen means the media figure will be not just predictably or reliably conservative or ultra-conservative, but doggedly and irrationally so.

Many Wingnut Welfare Queens style themselves "Populists"; nonetheless, some some appear to take relish in the abrasiveness and ad hominem quality of their attacks on individuals they perceive as not necessarily contrary in ideology, but lacking in fervor.

A Wingnut Welfare Queen's natural adversaries inhabit the best-recompensed strata of left-wing academia and the leftmost edge of the Democratic Party, with some holdouts on the op-ed pages of liberal metropolitan daily newspapers; they are the upper-tier of the class called Poverty Pimp (q.v.), code-word "Progressive."

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"What I dislike most of all is not her meretriciousness or meanness, but the way she acts as though she were God's Gift to American politics."

--

"Yep. Follow her career and you'll see how a gossipy media princess with a right-wing tilt became a full-blown wingnut welfare queen."

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by al-in-chgo July 7, 2010

jackoff artist

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."

"Bob says he's an air-guitar artist."

"Bob is a jackoff artist at best. I'm not even sure he can perform air-guitar."

by al-in-chgo April 1, 2013

jackoff buddy

A friend who helps you with mutual masturbation, usually male-on-male.

A jackoff buddy promises a more limited repertoire than a fuck buddy.

by al-in-chgo August 4, 2012