Trav's definitions

backdoor draft

Backdoor draft – Military term used to describe the current government policy of keeping troops in the military beyond their original enlistment contracts through the utilization of “stop loss orders” (keeping specific shortage job specialties such as military intelligence and aviation in) and “stop movement orders” (locking down entire units so that troops can’t leave the military or rotate out into another unit). Some troops have spent one to two years serving past their enlistment contract or retirement date.

“Man, it sucks to be SGT Johnson.”
“Why’s that?”
“He had a scholarship to UT set up but now the Army’s keeping him in for another year to send him back to Iraqistan.”
“Is he going to loose his scholarship?”
“Probably. Damn backdoor draft.”

by Trav February 10, 2005

fart grease

Fart grease – The sticky, foul smelling substance that builds up in the crack of your ass. It’s made up of a concoction of feces, sweat, smegma and lint..

My roommate is so nasty. He picks his ass, waits a few seconds and looks to see if anyone is around, then sniffs the fart grease on his fingers.

by Trav October 1, 2004

zonk

Unofficial army command. Typically used during PT (physical training) formations during extremely shitty weather as a way of dismissing a unit from duty. After the command of “Zonk!!” is given the entire unit runs off screaming and shouting to their barracks rooms or cars.

Man, this morning it was 34 degrees and pissing rain. Thank god First Seargent called a zonk.

1SG : “Company!!”
Platoon SGTs in unison : “Platoon!!”
1SG: “Atten-sion!!.....ZONK!!!!”

by Trav October 1, 2004

RPAV

Slang military acronym for Rice Paddy Assault Vehicle. Refers to the utility tractors used by Korean farmers to tend their rice paddies. The vehicle looks like a cross between along skinny riding lawn mower, swamp buggy and rotor tiller with a single huge headlight. An unlimited assortment of junk that would make Inspector Gadget smile can be attached to the vehicles from tillers and fertilizers to harvesters and trailers. They are a common site/road hazard to soldiers having to drive in and around the Korean countryside since they are often used as the farmer’s primary means of transportation. They have been seen parked in front of grocery stores, bars and movie theaters.

I just saw a teenage Korean kid crusing the strip in his RPAV.

by Trav October 1, 2004

flap lapper

One more word for a lesbian.

“Hey, that new chick in the company is kinda cute.”

“No chance dude. Have you noticed her hoop earrings, the thumb ring and collection of Indigo Girl CDs? She’s got to be a flap lapper.

by Trav October 1, 2004

M & M

Abbreviation for marine mattress. Slang term for a woman or guy that only gives up the booty to marines.

“Hey, that new Air Force chick that showed up at the office yesterday is hot.”
“You don’t have a chance dude. She was in my class at the Defense Language Institute, she’s a freaking M & M and a half.”

by Trav October 21, 2004

PX Ranger

Any retard in the U.S. Army that goes to the PX, buys military awards and/or decorations that they didn’t earn and then pins them on their chest so that they can go around looking like a hero. These yahoos often claim to have served in the Rangers or Force Recon or some other elite unit, but that they got out because of an injury or because they got tired of the B.S.

Private Snuffy – “Hey, that new mess sergeant is a bad ass. He served with the Rangers in Vietnam, Panama, Afghanistan and Iraq. He says that he got a field commission to Captain after he won the Silver Star but he got busted back down and kicked out of the Infantry because he punched his CO in the face.”
Sergeant – “He’s full of crap.”
Private Snuffy – “No way, I saw his rack of ribbons and his Ranger tab on his shoulder.”
Sergeant – “Damnit, haven’t you ever heard of a PX ranger? Besides. How old was he during Nam? Two?”

by Trav October 26, 2004