Tim Jerome's definitions

New Hartford

An extremely wealthy suburb in upstate New York much like Greenwich, CT or Beverly Hills, CA. Don't even bother moving here in you're not a millionaire. Tourists, however, are always welcome.

Donald Trump: "I flew to New Hartford yesterday for a haircut."

Wealthy New Hartford man: "Let's go to my $500,000 mansion and rub whip cream on our bodies in front of the fire."

Wealthy New Hartford women: "When I'm depressed I like to roll around in a big pile of money to lift myself up."

Bumper Sticker on a New Hartford SUV: WHOEVER DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS WINS!

by Tim Jerome December 19, 2007

Wal-Mart

Founded by Sam Walton, Wal-Mart is a discount retailer that sells generic clothes, food, electronics and just about everything else. Instead of finding Adidas shoes at Wal-Mart, they will have shoes that look similar to Adidas with a similar-looking logo. Instead of Adidas the shoes will be called ABCheetahs or something. Or instead of Nike, Wal-Mart will carry a generic brand called Hike (again, with a similar looking logo as Nike). This is so poor kids can pretend to wear the same clothes as the richer kids and feel the same pride as them. This, of course, is the greatest flaw to discount retailing. It has only made countless people the target of discrimination and teasing.

Cool Kid: Hey, Josh. Cool Nikes. Oh, wait--those aren't Nikes. What does that say? Hike? Dude, your family shops at Wal-Mart! You're dead at recess. Heh-heh-heh.

Josh: (Gulp) I thought I might fool people for at least one day.

by Tim Jerome March 16, 2008

Overshare

When you get so drunk you tell a good friend about the time you were crazily in love with an adrogynous looking person who later turned out to be a female. Because of this revelation your drunken confession delves into epiphanies about your latent homosexuality then skips to your past crushes on (and platonic affairs with) older married people before finally detailing your favorite methods for having pillow sex. Instances of oversharing are often followed by headaches, embarrassment, feelings of vulnerability, extensive journaling and/or therapy and (sometimes) long walks alone to find yourself.

You: "...and that is ultimately what led me to realize that I might be gay. Not gay in the David Bowie sense but gay in the bi-curious way. I mean, aren't we all? I want to have a married best friend, but a friend of the same sex who you harbor sexual feelings for...there's just something exciting about that. I guess I've never really admitted this to myself. All the emails, and "dates" and trips with Katie Couric were obviously leading somewhere, but there's something I felt about my male friends that was just... It's like the time in college when I took LSD. I was turned on by the risk of it, like riding a rollercoaster without a safety harness. I mean, I sort of knew I would come out OK afterwards but I also..."

Your friend: (to him-or her-self) Sheesh! what an oversharer. I wish I had a tape recorder.

by Tim Jerome February 18, 2009

Hammy

A person who displays a penchant for LL Bean and Land's End clothes, Hammy's can often be found congregating around coffee shops where acoustic folk music blasts so loud from the overhead speakers that people have to shout in order to be heard. While Hammys usually have an above average IQ, their lagging taste in current popular culture has marginalzed them from mainstream American society.

With-it Person: "Dude, how many times are you going to re-read Zen and the Art of Motorcylce Maintenance? Don't you like any of the new writers like Nick Hornby and Dave Eggers?"

Hammy: "Nick and Dave WHO?"

With-it person: "Sheesh!"

Hammy: "Come on! Let's go listen to some Pearl Jam and play hackey sack!"

by Tim Jerome December 18, 2007

kill

Short for killer. Used frequently in the California slacker community to refer to something that is totally radical, gnarly or awesome.

Man, that shit is kill! I gotta get me some of that.

Dude, kill. Did you see that guy on the BMX do a double backflip? I almost showed some wakeful animation for a second.

by Tim Jerome September 4, 2009

TIM

An acronym which means:

Tit
In
Mouth

Guy: I like missionary style sex and TIM.

Woman: I'll give you some TIM first and then we can do it like missionaries.

by Tim Jerome December 18, 2007

Forrest Gump

When you have intercourse with a fat guy's belly button and creampie it.

Lots of girls dream of blowing Ron Jeremy, but many more dudes want to Forrest Gump him.

by Tim Jerome April 3, 2009