50 definitions by Sir Bartholomew McTavish

A breast that's dressed.

ie: A boob still in its Bouncy Rigid Alembic (B.R.A.)
A 'dreast' can be spotted in the first thirty seconds of any adult man-milk producing video production.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
The 1960s French comic that you DIDN'T hear about.
'Asstrix' is the story of a Gaulish pornstar that shagged her way through every Roman Legion that Rome sent her way.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
Spoforife. Spoon. Fork. Knife. 'nuff said.
A Couple on a plane, the man has the window seat.
Kanye: Hey, Estelle, I'm feeling bonkers. Do you got a spoon, fork or a knife? I think it's called a spoforife.
Estelle: Can you be quiet for just one shitting minute?
Kanye: Hey we just touched down in London town.
Estelle: For Christ's sake, quit it with the fucking song or I'll kick you in the fucking balls again you ass hole.
Kayne: Hey look, it's the press. They don't fuck wit me.
Estelle: (Sighs.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 03, 2008
Simple straightforward definition.Ordinary is boring. Break the mould, go for the burn, stand out from the crowd, ignore the sheep. Don't become uniform, don't be boredinary.
Man#1: You listen to that new audiobook?
Man#2: Audio what? What the shit?
Man#1: It's a book on CD
Man#2: What the fuck is a book?
Man#1: Pages,bound together,left-to-right reading. You can learn things.
Man#2: You are so boring.Books?You gay?
Man#1: No, you are boredinary, you slave to the system. Stand out man, make yourself unique. Burn your pants! Wank off a chicken or something!
Man#2: Go fuck a horse.
Man#1: Already did, it was your Mother.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 22, 2008
when a lady's or gentleman's underpant region become increasingly bothered, horny, moist, or brought to the boil a situation comes up which negates or foils the sensation.

A hard on boil that becomes foiled.
1: Watching late night TV for a bit of self loving when a picture of Karen Matthews, Cilla Black or Jade Goody comes on and your 'rock' becomes a 'flop'

2: When a lady is watching late night TV in the hopes that a bit of twisted gaymensex comes on and instead find nothing but Karen Matthews, Cilla Black and Jade Goody lezzing out.

3: Wanking over Britney when you realise you're her Dad.Boil Foiled.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 11, 2008
or 'bling waddler' are words only applying to fat men between 35 and 45 who wear shorts, sandals and puffa jackets. The commonly tend to drive 'Ive-Got-An-Under-Sized-Penis' cars,Four by fours or minivans. They also are overly hairy, facially smug and wear Bluetooth's ear pods proudly as though they are rich Godlike men walking the streets. In actuality they are fat, waddling,hairy twats who'll end up with brain problems,drink problems and wives who only do it with them for the cash. Also they are probably closet homosexuals who film their neighbours kids through the cracks in the garden fence.
CHILD: Mummy, mummy why is that fat man walking like he needs a poo and what is that stupid f-ing thing in his ear.

MOTHER: Well son, that's what we call 'Bling Waddlers' or 'Bling Waddler'. I want you to stay away from people like that. I'm not prejudice but they are the work of Satan and you'll burn in the fires Hell if you ever become one of those. And that thing in his ear is something that lets the police know where the bastard is.

CHILD: (Scare witless) Okay Mummy, take your pills...
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 11, 2007
Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.
Examples of a captain jirk are...

David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Etc.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009

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