50 definitions by Sir Bartholomew McTavish

crackmail is what it is called when a woman, uses her crack to shut a moaning husband, boyfriend up when he finds out something she didn't want known.
Steve: So, what happened when you confronted your missus about doing that hardcore porno behind your back, when she was supposed to be going to see her ill Mother?
Dave: I got crackmailed by the Bitch.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 11, 2008
Simple congregruity of 'tri', meaning third and nipple. The correct adjective for a third nipple. Can be pronounced 'try-nipple' but 'trin-ipple' sounds funnier.
Ozzie: Hey, did you see Lily Allen whip out her trinipple?

Keith: No,

Ozzie: Yeah, it was almost down her stomach

Keith: What, like a dogs?

Ozzie: Yeah.

Keith: Does that mean she's part canine?

Ozzie: Hell yeah.

Keith: I'd wouldn't say no to fucking that.

Ozzie: But she wouldn't say yes to you. Dogs still have class. And you're her Dad

Keith: Oh, yeah, still would though. (They high-five eachother.)

Ozzie: (Under his breath) Prink.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 01, 2008
A ho that hasn't recieved her dough
Look at that famous TV hooker Oprah always going on about how poor people are cool when she has billions of bucks tucked away herself. I bet if she didn't get paid she be a mean crosstitute.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 10, 2008
The tackle you spunk with. Testicles and Penis. Cock and Balls. Twig and Gigggle Berries. Meat and Two Veg. Strawberry Shaft and Vanilla Scoops. Testicle (Pronounced testiclay) & Poking Rod...etc...
PETER: Andy, what's the matter?
ANDY: My wife kicked me in me spunk tackle.
PETER: Dannielle? Whatever for?
ANDY: Coz I said she was a stupid fat fucking minge muncher who was worse in bed that her comatose Mother.

(Brief moment of silence then a hefty High-Five.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 29, 2008
The name of sex vampire who is originally thought to be Nad the Impale-her.
A man, at home, alone, watching 'Count Spunkula Lives!' with his bored housewife. The TV woman get a hugely impossible facial. The man looks longingly at his wife and she shoves a pencil down his dick. How's that?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 15, 2008
To put your dick to the telephone speaker when talking to a ladyfriend when she is boring the arse off you about babies or flowers or something else that's all girlyfied.
Dicktaphone is when on the phone to Ann Coulter and she's banging on about politics or crap etc. and you realise you're her husband as your cock falls out of your pants into the reciever.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 18, 2008
A disease (or Poorme condition) that stuck up rich bitches get. They are usually a friend but never fancy you, who is always falling down,getting into fights, crashing her car, breaking bones to get attention because her life is so boring being married to the richest, limpcocked bastard she could find, or having great parents who give her everything.
1) Paris.
2) Nicole.
3) Kathy.
4) Pink sang a song about them stupid, stupid girls.
5) A Brittlebitch is usually any blonde girl who does her homework/job on Wikipedia & drives a Smart Car.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 04, 2007

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