Definitions by Napoleon BonerPart

anoos kahempell 

Theatrical name for one’s backside

Oh , Steady on Barty , you are becoming a veritable pain in one’s anoos kahempell

anoos kahempell by Napoleon BonerPart May 26, 2023

unmitigated buffoonery 

Any situation that could conceivably have arisen , where the sheer scale and levels of uttetrly abject stupidity could not have possibly been predicted or indeed legislated for .

This decision is so preposterously overflowing with unmitigated buffoonery that I may have to go and cut out my own brain .

Can you believe the previously unsurpassed level of unmitigated buffoonery that has led to a committee of horrifically incompetent clown shoes re-electing that fucking cretin back into that position ? No wonder fucking lions eat their young

unmitigated buffoonery by Napoleon BonerPart March 12, 2023

company family 

The absolute fucking bullshit that some companies or employers attempt to feed you and convince you that working for them might mean that they give a flying fuck about any aspect of your welfare or wellbeing . You can be very assured that they fucking do not.

@come and work for us at XYZ Company , become part of our family

Fuck off you khuntz the moment the budget supporting my position comes under any scrutiny whatsoever, you bastards will drop me like a boiled turd

Company family my fucking left bollock

company family by Napoleon BonerPart March 12, 2023

Guinness fart

A Guinness Fart is almost the exact opposite to a genuine fart , and can catch you out after you have consumed a commendable volume of the lovely black liquid .
Having been lulled into a very false sense of safety and security by your own anus , you place your trust in it to release nothing but wind, but horror of horrors , it’s played a very cruel trick on you and will shoot out warm, black , stinking sticky bum treacle of a slightly thicker viscosity than what went in only a few hours beforehand . At this point and usually in the most inconvenient of locations, you have become a victim of a Guinness Fart

I’d only had 9 pints of Dublins finest and whilst walking home I trusted my sphincter to emit some gas which I thought had backed up inside my poop chute . How wrong I was, when the bastard sphincter tricked me with. Guinness Fart and deposited about 4 lbs of BumMolasses directly into my kex . To make matters worse , by the time I’d walked the rest of my journey , the dollop had went cold

Guinness fart by Napoleon BonerPart March 12, 2023

squinting like a wanking jap 

The appearance of your face when looking towards particularly bright and sometimes low altitude sunlight .

For fuck sake Gerald put your Ray-bans on ,

You’re squinting like a wanking jap

squinting like a wanking jap by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023

snitklinkers 

Tagnuts , klinker, dangleberries, snapdarlichs, The irritating hard little nuggets of shite that can result after being left to cook off in the body’s own heat after failing to correctly wipe the anus following a copious but successful sit-down visit

Marjorie had to deal with her elderly father in law after the old cunt fell over in the parlour . He somehow was devoid of suitable trousering and had in addition , become parted from his Y’s She had to then bear witness to a significant quantity of snitklinkers that was fiercely attached to his third eye lashes and would appear to have been so for several weeks

snitklinkers by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023

floating toldy

North East of Scotland’s poetic word for a turd which refuses to submerge below the water line and will resist virtually every attempt to encourage the bastard to depart these environs .

Agnes , you’ve dropped a fucking floating toldy in here again, I’ve told you to stop eating those Ryvitas, they’re making your jobbys far too bouyant .

floating toldy by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023