8 definitions by Monkey Handler

Top Definition
Smarmy retort directed at someone who thinks he's charlie big spuds.
Look at him trying to snipe that kive. Who does he think he is, bertie big bollocks?
by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004
The cock. Only in reference to showing it to some lucky lass.
She looked like hazza with a tub of butter when I showed her my beefy treat.
by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004
The lowest order of burbery cap-wearing townie. Probably drives a Nova, almost certainly reads max power magazine, definately owns elizabeth duke jewlery. Can be found in the vicinity of other people called schteve, will usually depart after repeated punching.
"Y'aright Schteve?"

Yeah Schteve, how's it goin' Schteve?"

"Check out the big bore on ma Nova Schteve."

"Ah, nice one Schteve, looks reem Schteve."

Fucking pikeys.
by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004
generic term for breasticles, origins of which owe much to dreaming about unleashing them from the confines of their brasiere on demand.
I'll show you my john lewis if you show me your debenhams...
by Monkey Handler November 24, 2004
The act of waiting until your mate's put in all the ground work chatting up some kive, jumping in the second his back's turned, pulling her and then taking her home to show her your beefy treat.
If you dare snipe this kive I'm talking to I'll ram that bottle of blue muck so far up your arse you'll be shitting green for a month.
by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004
Any piece of fabric used to clean up your man mess after a session with the lingere section of the Kays catalogue.
"Ah man, that's rank. I just went into your room to get a CD and stood on your wankerchief!"
by Monkey Handler June 09, 2005
Northern slang for nailing some kive. Predominantly used by charlie big spuds after ten cans of stella and a test-tube of jagermeister or five.
"I wanna get my oats with Charlene Krank."
by Monkey Handler November 22, 2004
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