Mattyboyee's definitions

Naughty Librarian

Hot ass chick that wears glasses. Usually defined as a woman that bears a hint of innocence to her look, but is without a doubt hotter than "MAGMA"

Jules, the love of my life is a naughty librarian.

by Mattyboyee June 2, 2003

lincoln logs

Term used to describe the act of shitting small loaflets or mini fecal logs that crisscross in the bowl to form a log cabin underwater like the lincoln log toy set we used to have as kids.

I shat licoln logs again, must be them damned pretzels.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

bowl clogger

A montrous defication of explosive bull ass proportions that binds the bowl up and prevents flushing. Not to be confused with a bowl cracker which is a dense and solid shit that fractures the porcelain.

I had to call roto-rooter again because I launched another bowl clogger.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

sadie rotten crotch

Term used to describe the state of crotch chafing. Abrasions on thighs and groin caused by sand from a beach, rough clothing material, and fat legs on a long walk. Not unlike sand in the vagina or grit-nuts and sandpaper crack.

Dude, I've got the worse case of sadie rotten crotch, I'm walkin' like I just got off of cross country horse-back ride.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

barking spider

See chocolate starfish: Term used to describe the shit eye, brown eye, bunghole, ass hole, etc. Resembles a spider when the tissue is crinkled as seen on a woman and barks when she farts.

Her pussy tasted like shit, so he stuffed his tongue in her barking spider.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Rackenstein

A girl with a gifted set of mammarical specimens. A chick with titanic tits, Giant Jugs, Mammoth Milkies, Bodacious Breastasies, Humongous Hooters, Colossal Colostrum Shooters, Gargantuan gazongas, Massive Melons, Fantastic Funbags, etc.

Check out Rackenstein... yeah should could put an eye out with those...

by Mattyboyee September 3, 2005

Filter fucked

1. When one is so wasted that their filter (liver and kidneys) are in fact fucked. Persistent states of filter fucked can result in Keith Richards like bodily function or the lack thereof bearing the need for dialysis.

2. When you have embibed so much alcohol that you light the wrong end of your cigarette.

3. When the filter between your brain and your mouth fails to function.

1. I got so filter fucked last night I woke up yellow and my pee stunk like burnt coffee.

2. Filter fuck ME! Gimme another cigarette...

3. Sorry babe, didn't mean to say that Taylor Swift would be worth going to jail for, my filter's fucked.

by Mattyboyee June 29, 2008