95 definitions by MagickDio

What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.

1) To give someone the hard eye is to look at them with disapproval/disdain/dislike. You give someone the hard eye when you don't know them- you just know you don't like them. Like when someone won't stop swearing when you've got small children with you. That merits a serving of hard eye.

2) To appraise something critically. One assumes that aspiring models are given the hard eye when they apply to an agency. It's when you look for things to dislike rather than things to like.

1- An act of intercourse where the male involved seems completely switched off from the idea that the woman is meant to be getting pleasure, and instead simply gallops towards the semen depositing finale. It leaves the woman feeling like she may as well have been elsewhere. This is a priestly fuck, as one imagines that's exactly how a priest would do it- with as little extra contact as possible so as to make it less of a sin.

2- That guy who disapproves of everything you do that he can't, much like a priest does. He's the bloke who feels it necessary to make himself look better than you by reacting with disgust and incredulous disbelief when hearing of your exploits. He's a priestly fuck, that one. He probably wanks and cries over tales of his mate's debauchery.

When you finally succeed in meeting that one person that you've fantasized about, finding out that they're pretty awesome and then getting naked and naughty with them........that, my friend, is a total fuckcess! Take a mental photo album of the occasion, and browse at leisure- this one is gonna make you smile for a long time yet.

An old people's home. So named because they go in all healthy and plump, and come out all dried and shrivelled, in a box.

An act that's both devilish and delicious at the same time. Such as getting your own back on someone by coating their face in superglue and rice krispies whilst they are sleeping. Evil, yes, but soooo worth it.

Like Secret Santa in that one person delivers something to another, and the recipient was unaware that it was heading their way. Except that the delivery is not a Christmas gift, it's an epic bollocking.

1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.

2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.