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Religious Tea

Has been made since the dawn of time. The method is unchanged, and widespread, from Catholics to Muslims. Every holy meeting will serve this drink.

You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"

Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"

Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.

Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.

Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh, yes please Vicar"

(aside)- "Damn, I fucking hate Religious Tea"
by MagickDio March 17, 2010
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Fierce Wretched

When a situation is more than just fucked, more than plain old dreadful, and you can't talk your way out of it, it's fierce wretched. Hella bad.
"My mum cam home early today and caught me and my brother fucking our boyfriends."

"Seriously?? That's fierce wretched"
by MagickDio May 14, 2010
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Ear Rapist

A person who tells you things which are a total waste of your time, or whines and complains at you. Forcing you to hear things you don't want to hear means they are virtually raping your ears with their words.
Tyrone will never be invited to another dinner party after he complained about every dish served at Sheila's. Then he told everyone about the time he met Sting. Now warnings have been issued about him being an ear rapist.
by MagickDio August 10, 2010
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Wankle

1) the jacking of a very small penis. To wank a winkle is to perform a wankle
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
1) "Mum, Sam's locked himself in the bathroom again!"

"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"

~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"

2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"

"Jesus, what a wankle"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
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Ho Wrangling

The main objective on a guys night out. To wrangle is to round up. A Ho is a loose woman.

A ho wrangler is a guy with massive easy girl pulling potential, who rarely ever spends a night alone, or with the same person more than twice.

A night of ho wrangling consists of bankrupting yourselves by buying numerous shots for women who are waiting at the bar, hoping that one might want to shag you. You will also dance in a grinding motion behind several women, in an attempt to wrangle them.
Vic's stag night is going to be a full on ho wrangling experience.
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
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Raisin Factory

An old people's home. So named because they go in all healthy and plump, and come out all dried and shrivelled, in a box.
"Mum and Dad sent Nana off to the raisin factory. It's called a Retirement Village. It's where you retire from having a life"
by MagickDio March 14, 2010
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Mental Cycle

A more accurate name for the menstrual cycle in highly strung females. A lot of women will simply get on with it, however there are a significant proportion that just go full on fucking crazy. Experiences vary, but phrases such as "DON'T speak to me like that!!" and "Oh, well why don't you just fucking LEAVE if I'm so hard to live with!!" are common.

Men are expected to accept this, or they will suffer horribly. These women use the fact that they are menstruating, have just menstruated or are about to menstruate as a kind of "get out of jail free" card, which leaves them free to be psychotic bitches without fear of reprisal, which makes people hate them more and more all month long.

As a bystander to this train wreck, expect screeching, expect tears, expect no sex and expect to want to kill someone more than you ever have before.
"John, do you wanna go do something?"
"Daz, it's midnight! What do you expect us to do?"
"I don't care, my missus is in the middle of her Mental Cycle, so if I don't leave the house, I'll kill the bitch in her sleep"
by MagickDio March 6, 2010
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