95 definitions by MagickDio
Like cock blocked, but for ladies. When something's coming at you, it can be blocked....hence cock blocking. When something is denied access, it's locked out, hence pussy locking. It's a frustrating state, because it's imposed by others.
Male BFF's are usually the biggest culprits for pussy locking their female friends, because they secretly fancy them, and don't want them fucking anyone else but them. Ex boyfriends can also create a pretty unbreakable pussy lock if you happen to be partying in the same venue.
Male BFF's are usually the biggest culprits for pussy locking their female friends, because they secretly fancy them, and don't want them fucking anyone else but them. Ex boyfriends can also create a pretty unbreakable pussy lock if you happen to be partying in the same venue.
"Hey Suze, great night last night wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't. You kept pussy locking me! I never cock block you! Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"Because I love you......."
(shocked look of absolute disgust)
"........as a friend."
"No, it wasn't. You kept pussy locking me! I never cock block you! Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"Because I love you......."
(shocked look of absolute disgust)
"........as a friend."
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
1) "Go out and smash it"- A line from a Black Eyed Peas song, which implies that they're going to go out of an evening and have a very good time.
2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.
3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.
3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
1) "Wanna 'go out and smash it? Like, oh my God?"
2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"
3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"
3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
by MagickDio March 25, 2010
In the singular, this is a term more commonly slurred by drunken idiots- ie "You, eh? Eh!! You don'even wannave a go at Mick, you'll get your'ed ripped off, right?? Eh!! He's fnard! Harder n you!!" In this instance, the words "fucking" and "hard" have been run together.
In the plural, the term is used to describe the chubby, thigh chafed bollocks of those men who can't find high street trousers that do up around their sagging beer gut. Fat nards. Fnards.
In the plural, the term is used to describe the chubby, thigh chafed bollocks of those men who can't find high street trousers that do up around their sagging beer gut. Fat nards. Fnards.
Geoff flopped gratefully down on the nudist beach; ignoring the horrified stares of the beautiful people he opened his legs and aired his fnards.
by MagickDio September 3, 2010
Either the most infuriating or the most outstanding oral sex technique. A slow job is a blow job at quarter speed. If you've got a guy with his hands restrained, a slow job might just be the most fantastic genital to mouth contact he's ever had. We'll call this Scenario A. Taunting, teasing, with plenty of eye contact. That guy will be completely under the spell of the sexual partner for the entire session. Not so if the male has just simply been promised a blow job. Then a slow job is tedious, and will make the blowee hate the blower a little bit and either wish they'd hurry the fuck up or pack it in altogether. Scenario B sure sucks, but not in a good way.
Can have consequences, such as spontaneous grabbing of the head and savage thrusting into the mouth, leading to potential teeth scraping injuries, possible gagging and dirty looks exchanged for weeks to come. However, the male should remain blameless for his reaction, as inexpert slow jobs are a form of torture, and not all men are trained to deal with that.
Slow jobs should only be attempted by those capable of making scenario A a reality, or those fully prepared to accept the aforementioned consequences of Scenario B.
Can have consequences, such as spontaneous grabbing of the head and savage thrusting into the mouth, leading to potential teeth scraping injuries, possible gagging and dirty looks exchanged for weeks to come. However, the male should remain blameless for his reaction, as inexpert slow jobs are a form of torture, and not all men are trained to deal with that.
Slow jobs should only be attempted by those capable of making scenario A a reality, or those fully prepared to accept the aforementioned consequences of Scenario B.
"I had the best slow job last night. I was handcuffed to the banister and she just spent a good half an hour at least on sucking my cock. It was legendary"
"I had the worst slow job last night! She said she was going to give me a BJ, so I thought I'd have cum by the time NCIS started. But no. It went on and fucking on, and I got bored and grabbed her head to finish it quicker. She bit me and called me a prick. Worst slow job EVER"
"I had the worst slow job last night! She said she was going to give me a BJ, so I thought I'd have cum by the time NCIS started. But no. It went on and fucking on, and I got bored and grabbed her head to finish it quicker. She bit me and called me a prick. Worst slow job EVER"
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
The tense game played by couples who have been together long enough to feel true rage. You'd think that "fuck" would always be the chosen option, but sometimes bringing someone else to tears is more sastisfying than orgasm.
Stress is building, and you're pretty sure it's all down to your significant other. They are looking at you as if they want to see you disembowelled. From this point in, it's simple. You're either going to tear strips off each other and compete over who can shout the loudest, and who can dig up the most dirt to sling at the other- ie "Ruck", or you're going to lunge for each other and tear off each others clothes and shag like the world is about to end- ie "Fuck"
Ruck or Fuck, amigo. You decide.
Stress is building, and you're pretty sure it's all down to your significant other. They are looking at you as if they want to see you disembowelled. From this point in, it's simple. You're either going to tear strips off each other and compete over who can shout the loudest, and who can dig up the most dirt to sling at the other- ie "Ruck", or you're going to lunge for each other and tear off each others clothes and shag like the world is about to end- ie "Fuck"
Ruck or Fuck, amigo. You decide.
"He'd come home drunk, because he said I was doing his head in, and then he started yelling at me for giving him "evils" and speaking to me like I was a kid....it was ruck or fuck, mate"
"And? Which one was it?"
"Ruck!! There's no way I'm letting him speak to me like that!"
"Bad choice. I'd have chosen fuck.....always choose fuck!"
"And? Which one was it?"
"Ruck!! There's no way I'm letting him speak to me like that!"
"Bad choice. I'd have chosen fuck.....always choose fuck!"
by MagickDio April 2, 2010
A person who tells you things which are a total waste of your time, or whines and complains at you. Forcing you to hear things you don't want to hear means they are virtually raping your ears with their words.
Tyrone will never be invited to another dinner party after he complained about every dish served at Sheila's. Then he told everyone about the time he met Sting. Now warnings have been issued about him being an ear rapist.
by MagickDio August 10, 2010
Spar-GER; the cheap, bitter, drain-cleaning-fluid-like substance contained within generic white cans and sold as lager at your local Spar. Essentially, it is carbonated tramp piss.
"I've only got £2 to get collins'ed on. Looks like I'd better buy a 12 pack of Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010