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MagickDio's definitions

Salty Warning

What precum should be called. When giving a blowjob, and not wishing to swallow the jizz, take the slight increase in pre- ejaculate to be a salty warning. Not only does it stop you from coming across like a terrified amatuer, it also means the guy is less likely to hold your head and foil your escape.
"Did you spit after sucking off Craig? Cos jizz tastes like the sea, it's awful"

"Didn't need to. I just paid attention to the salty warning and let him spunk on my face"
by MagickDio March 7, 2010
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Fnorg

A striped, many legged demon that usually resides in a Christmas tree and judges all who pass it by. Capable of delivering a harsh mind blow to those who do not believe in it. Your safety depends on respect for the Fnorg.
"Don't walk past that tree unless you want the Fnorg to twat your thoughts"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
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Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
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Beer Bollocks

1) The total shit someone talks when they're drunk

2) The sudden surge of bravery one experiences when totally lashed
Well, look who's gone and got himself a pair of beer bollocks! Seb, they'll kill us both. Let's go and get a kebab
by MagickDio July 11, 2010
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Smash It

1) "Go out and smash it"- A line from a Black Eyed Peas song, which implies that they're going to go out of an evening and have a very good time.

2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.

3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
1) "Wanna 'go out and smash it? Like, oh my God?"

2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"

3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
by MagickDio March 25, 2010
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Tissue Test

1) The process by which women rate "weepy" films. The more it makes them cry, be it through sadness, relief, happiness or just because someone had a cute face, the higher the film will rank.

2) The process by which men rate pornographic films. The more it makes them ejaculate, be it through domination, bondage, bukkake or just because someone had a cute ass, the higher the film will rank.
1) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Marley and Me, it's like a five on the tissue test!"

2) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Lesbian Fuckwhores, it's like a five on the tissue test!"
by MagickDio July 17, 2011
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Man Tidy

A state of order and cleanliness that is barely passable. If your teeth have been brushed for approximately 15 seconds, the front part of your hair has been messily styled, and your shirt has been dragged out of the washing basket and febrezed, consider yourself "man tidy." If your living room has floor debris and unidentifiable matter pushed under the sofa, empty lager cans lined up on the coffee table and a light layer of dust covering every surface, consider it "man tidy." If you're a woman and you keep your affairs in such disorder, then grow some ovaries and pick up a duster.

There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
"Hold on, let me just run in and do a quick spot check. Greg was off work today, so I left him in charge of the housework. It'll probably be man tidy in here"
by MagickDio May 19, 2010
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