95 definitions by MagickDio

1) the jacking of a very small penis. To wank a winkle is to perform a wankle
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
1) "Mum, Sam's locked himself in the bathroom again!"

"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"

~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"

2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"

"Jesus, what a wankle"
by MagickDio February 04, 2010
1) To give someone the hard eye is to look at them with disapproval/disdain/dislike. You give someone the hard eye when you don't know them- you just know you don't like them. Like when someone won't stop swearing when you've got small children with you. That merits a serving of hard eye.

2) To appraise something critically. One assumes that aspiring models are given the hard eye when they apply to an agency. It's when you look for things to dislike rather than things to like.
1) The mouthy teens on the bus continued to talk at deafening volume and play offensive rap music on their mobile phones, despite being given the hard eye by 90% of the passengers.

2) After giving Vanessa the hard eye as she walked to the loo, Doug decided he wouldn't be taking "her" home after all.
by MagickDio January 08, 2011
Has been made since the dawn of time. The method is unchanged, and widespread, from Catholics to Muslims. Every holy meeting will serve this drink.

You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"

Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"

Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.

Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.

Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh, yes please Vicar"

(aside)- "Damn, I fucking hate Religious Tea"
by MagickDio March 17, 2010
What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.
"The A team is composed entirely of gay circus freaks. It's the gAy Team"

"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
by MagickDio February 26, 2010
What dogs in South Africa (pronounced "Sauth Ifrikka" by South Africans) do when you throw them a stick or a ball.
"Fitch, boy! Fitch it!!!"
by MagickDio April 23, 2010
An act that's both devilish and delicious at the same time. Such as getting your own back on someone by coating their face in superglue and rice krispies whilst they are sleeping. Evil, yes, but soooo worth it.
"She cried when she saw she had no eyebrows, but that just made it even more devilicious! HA! Bitch"
by MagickDio March 02, 2010
Twatman is the drunken guy you seriously need to avoid. He's the one who thinks he's a superhero. He will feel up and slobber over every female within grabbing distance, churning out such winning lines as "You're beautiful, you are. HEY! Did you know that, I said you're beautiful? Cos you are." and "Love, do you wanna come back to my flat and let me fuck you?". These lines are usually delivered whilst Twatman has his face pressed into an unfortunate woman's neck, breathing hotly and rasping his words in a sex killer's voice. Outside, with his mates, Twatman will give them appalling representation by yelling slurred insults at men that were innocently passing by, and inciting a gang style hatred between the two groups, when really, they could have just gone home. Twatman will fight like a retard following a laser pen, will lose and will cry on his knees, bellowing the name of his current or former girlfriend. He will then walk through traffic, dismissing the vehicles as a threat to him and will search out a kebab van. After purchasing the greasy nastiness, he'll wolf it down and puke. He'll tell his mates that he loves them, then get rowdy about it. He'll end his night drenched in sick and gutter filth, plus his own piss, and will be most definitely NOT having sex. He will have ruined everyone's night. These are the powers of Twatman. Bravo.
"Keith turns into Twatman when we go out drinking, lets not invite him, EVER"

"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
by MagickDio April 19, 2010

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×