When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"
"Sarah's mum has got raging wrands! Did you notice?"
"Yeah, I shuddered when she touched me"
Used to describe the behaviour of a guy that is heterosexual but for some reason, is acting gayer than a sailor in hotpants. Sometimes this is down to an unfortunate, yet entertaining personality trait. Other times it's totally random. Some fine examples of this behaviour are seen in guys that check themselves out in shop windows, guys that snatch up a copy of "Heat" and stare at the front page in clear disbelief, guys that say "Oh. My. GOD!!!", and guys that wave with all their fingers waggling like incy wincy spider.
-"Did you see that Beyoncé lost 12 pounds on a maple syrup diet? It's right here, look at this copy of Heat! Oh. My. GOD!!"
-"Dude, you're on the wrong side! We're here to buy porn!"
~ "Look at John, waving like a teenage harlot. He's on the wrong side today, that's for sure"
A complete knob jockeying
slut, be they male or female. So obsessed with penises, that they don't even notice the guy attached to it. Every workplace, town and secondary school has one of these "knobsessed" individuals. Teenagers and middle aged guys often fall victim to the knobsessed. You can recognise them by their trousers (which are too tight) and their hair (which is too bleached/dyed/straightened/backcombed) and by their voice (which is too loud).
Ed- "Look at Tracey chatting up Darren"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"
"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"
someone who is otherwise unemployed, and spends their entire waking life trawling the internet for free pornography.
"Since Gary lost his job, he has become a full time Internet Explorer"
"Don't be an internet explorer all your life. Get some real sex"
1)A situation where all was not well, sexually. This can apply to a dry spell
or a sex session that went totally wrong
2) An individual who either never gets laid, or is appalling at it.
1) "I didn't pull last night, AGAIN. I'm going through a really unfucktionate time of late"
"Laura puked when she tried deep throating
me. That was unfucktionate.
2) "That creepy guy who lives with his parents and wears white knee socks is so unfucktionate"
"So I finally went to bed with Steve, only to find out that the dude is crazily unfucktionate"
A lot of scary looking people have what is known as "Gun Face." It's when you feel confident in saying that a person owns a gun and has brandished it or has a gun on their person purely from the appearance of their face. Their expression is unsettling- a mix of insanity,glee and contemplation, as if they're wondering if they've got enough old carpet left to roll their next victim up in.
Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
I don't want to go to the post office. The guy behind the counter has Gun Face, and is probably going to snap any day now!
An extremely low budget affair that strives unsuccessfully to look classier than it is. Most do stop short of actually holding their wedding reception in MacDonalds, but if you've ever attended a reception similar to the one about to be described, rest assured, you have attended a "McWedding"
The bride and groom are both dressed in suits or in wedding clothes that were made around 25 years ago. The reception is held in a pub function room or community hall (not bad in itself) and is decorated with a few mismatched balloons, streamers, party poppers, paper tablecloths and weird papery swans and bells (very very bad). The food was clearly made by a team of aging female relatives with no concept of hygiene, and consists of rapidly drying tuna, ham and cheese sandwiches, copious amounts of cheese and pineapple on sticks, lots of quiche and breadsticks and platters of chicken nuggets. Confetti is all around every dish to make it look as if it's of higher quality. There is a DJ with about 3 lights and just as many CD's. There is no open bar. Children run about, fighting and crying because they're so bored. Adults run about, fighting and crying and drinking because they're so bored.
"I've still got food poisoning and a black eye from Pete and Sal's McWedding at the weekend. Shittest thing I've ever been to."