Like cock blocked
, but for ladies. When something's coming at you, it can be blocked....hence cock blocking
. When something is denied access, it's locked out, hence pussy locking. It's a frustrating state, because it's imposed by others.
Male BFF's are usually the biggest culprits for pussy locking their female friends, because they secretly fancy them, and don't want them fucking anyone else but them. Ex boyfriends can also create a pretty unbreakable pussy lock if you happen to be partying in the same venue.
"Hey Suze, great night last night wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't. You kept pussy locking me! I never cock block you! Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"Because I love you......."
(shocked look of absolute disgust)
"........as a friend."
The savage disdain that some crazy women and some truly disturbing men have for the act of fellatio. The women are known as "Selfish, frigid bitch" and the men are known as "Sexually repressed, unfucktionate
weirdo". There does seem to be a rule here however, when it comes to those who will open declare Fellate Hate. The "Selfish, frigid bitch" will usually have absolutely no issue whatsoever with cunnilingus, whereas the "Sexually repressed, unfucktionate
weirdo" will have strong opinions against it. It's clear that one needs a sharp re-education, and the other needs shooting, as it is the kindest solution.
"How are things going with Rebecca?"
"That's SO over"
"Why? You guys were great together"
"I thought so too, until she openly admitted her fellate hate"
"Damn, what's wrong with that woman??"
"So, how are things with Tim?"
"We broke up after he twisted away when I tried to suck him off- he suffers with serious fellate hate"
"You're well out of it then!"
The tense game played by couples who have been together long enough to feel true rage. You'd think that "fuck" would always be the chosen option, but sometimes bringing someone else to tears is more sastisfying than orgasm.
Stress is building, and you're pretty sure it's all down to your significant other. They are looking at you as if they want to see you disembowelled. From this point in, it's simple. You're either going to tear strips off each other and compete over who can shout the loudest, and who can dig up the most dirt to sling at the other- ie "Ruck", or you're going to lunge for each other and tear off each others clothes and shag like the world is about to end- ie "Fuck"
Ruck or Fuck, amigo. You decide.
"He'd come home drunk, because he said I was doing his head in, and then he started yelling at me for giving him "evils" and speaking to me like I was a kid....it was ruck or fuck, mate"
"And? Which one was it?"
"Ruck!! There's no way I'm letting him speak to me like that!"
"Bad choice. I'd have chosen fuck.....always choose fuck!"
1) the jacking
of a very small penis. To wank a winkle
is to perform a wankle
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs
who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
1) "Mum, Sam's locked himself in the bathroom again!"
"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"
~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"
2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"
"Jesus, what a wankle"
When a situation is more than just fucked, more than plain old dreadful, and you can't talk your way out of it, it's fierce wretched. Hella
"My mum cam home early today and caught me and my brother fucking our boyfriends."
"Seriously?? That's fierce wretched"
1) "Go out and smash it"- A line from a Black Eyed Peas song, which implies that they're going to go out of an evening and have a very good time.
2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.
3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
1) "Wanna 'go out and smash it? Like, oh my God?"
2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"
3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
Has been made since the dawn of time. The method is unchanged, and widespread, from Catholics to Muslims. Every holy meeting will serve this drink.more...
You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"
Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"
Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.
Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.
Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket