MagickDio's definitions
Like Secret Santa in that one person delivers something to another, and the recipient was unaware that it was heading their way. Except that the delivery is not a Christmas gift, it's an epic bollocking.
1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.
2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.
2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
"One of them is going to go all Secret Sergeant about me running off to vegas and getting married....I need to know which one it is"
"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
by MagickDio February 17, 2010
Get the Secret Sergeant mug.The sudden and alarming hissy fit that grown men have when confronted with information that they don't like, or when asked to do something that they don't want to do. Asking for some attention to be paid to you instead of a games console, for instance, will almost always result in a man strop. Likewise, the dreadful crime of informing him that he has behaved like a twat will be punishable by a full on man strop.
"I sked him to stop playing that thing for 5 minutes and listen to me, and he threw the controller down and stormed around in a total man strop"
"Grow up, you fucking baby, stop throwing such a man strop!"
"Grow up, you fucking baby, stop throwing such a man strop!"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
Get the Man Strop mug.Testicles come in few shapes, more sizes and even more levels of maintenance and cleanliness. Balls have been arranged into categories by people who care about what they put in their mouths. They are defined as follows
Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.
Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.
Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.
Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.
Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.
Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.
Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.
Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.
Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
Get the Ball Category mug.1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.
2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"
2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"
2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
Get the Hold Your Tongue mug.A serious outburst of unexpected and completely over the top rage. This style of hissy fit was made famous by former No. 1 ranking professional tennis player, John McEnroe, hence the name. To qualify as an episode of McEnrage, it has to happen in public, with witnesses. (That is not to say that Mr McEnroe did not throw his toys out of the pram in private, simply that we do not know if this is the case.) McEnrage can be a classic, all out, red in the face, foaming at the mouth screech fest, or it can be a much less dramatic thing, but with the inclusion of the phrase, "You cannot be SERIOUS!!"
"Why is Jez outside, chain smoking and pacing?"
"Oh my God, you totally missed it! Dude, it was insane. We got to the window and the woman said they were sold out. Instead of getting tickets to the next showing like the rest of us, he just flipped! Started screaming "You cannot be SERIOUS!!" and smacking his hands against that plastic window, swearing and demanding that he be found a seat immediately. That's his spit they're cleaning off the window now!"
"Jesus, proper McEnrage then!"
"Yeah. Fucking Jez, I don't reckon we'll ever be allowed back here now."
"Oh my God, you totally missed it! Dude, it was insane. We got to the window and the woman said they were sold out. Instead of getting tickets to the next showing like the rest of us, he just flipped! Started screaming "You cannot be SERIOUS!!" and smacking his hands against that plastic window, swearing and demanding that he be found a seat immediately. That's his spit they're cleaning off the window now!"
"Jesus, proper McEnrage then!"
"Yeah. Fucking Jez, I don't reckon we'll ever be allowed back here now."
by MagickDio October 11, 2012
Get the McEnrage mug.Verb- When someone manhandles your possessions in a spasticated manner, causing them to cease functioning correctly or wrecking them altogther.
For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.
For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.
by MagickDio June 21, 2011
Get the Spandle mug.1) To have the fact that you are worthy of notice totally eclipsed by a drunken, marauding family member who everyone seems to love, despite the fact that they're a sure candidate for the fires of hell. Comes from the glaringly obvious fact that Charlie Sheen gets way more publicity for being a cock than Emilio Estevez (his well behaved, better acting brother) gets for being a decent bloke!
2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.
3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.
3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
1) I'm sick of being Estevezed by my crack dealing older sister.
2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!
3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!
3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
by MagickDio April 2, 2011
Get the Estevezed mug.