70 definitions by Lord Grimcock

A sexually indiscriminate woman; a slapper. A conflation of the word jizz with '-oon', to evoke a spitoon, as it were, for glob. Like the cuspador, a place you can release problem fluids where spitting them at the wall isn't a graceful option.
I found half a dozen foil wrappers and a pack of gonorrhea pills in Trish's handbag again. That bitch is a Forrestal-class jizzoon.
by Lord Grimcock September 7, 2007
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The fear of getting shit on your sleeves while wiping wearing long-sleeved clothing.
She asked why I hoard all my old clothing receipts; I told her I suffered from telemanchecoprobleptophobia.
by Lord Grimcock November 17, 2008
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If I was rich and worthy I wouldn't use a dating site. If I was beautiful and charming I wouldn't use a dating site. I can only assume there's a huge unclaimed pool of clueless rich twats and foxy bitches out there, and that the rich twats are clueless enough to want to marry one of the other set despite there being nothing but cosmetic legal or social cred attached to marriage.
I found my husband on SeekingMillionaire, and I divorced him six months later. Mission accomplished.
by Lord Grimcock November 3, 2007
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Sky-god, chief god of the steppe nomads whose religion is sometimes described as Tengrism after him. Worshipped by Genghis Khan, so you know there's something in it. Possibly the coolest god outside the Norse pantheon and Ctulhu.
Dread Tengri, accept these 8,000 virgins in humble sacrifice!
by Lord Grimcock August 16, 2008
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Used to give a bit of pseudo-academic gravitas to stupid viral shit.

A 'meme' doesn't have to be funny, provocative or even make sense. Most memes fall into one of three categories:

- 'Quirky' stuff that isn't funny.
- Pathetic stuff that fills you with vicarious despair.
- Revolting pictures that could be presented to some alien jury as evidence that humanity is cancer.

All that is required for a meme to succeed is for a critical mass of basement dwellers to get in on it. This being done, it will be spread over bulletin boards everywhere like the pox. Much drama and the locking of thousands of discussions across the web will follow, for what is known to the trolling elite as 'lulz'.

This word defies easy definition. It lost touch with 'funny' long ago, and now looks suspiciously like the sort of drama-whoring same 'elite' correctly pans.

The meme having taken hold, they and similar circle-jerking gobfags proceed with a relentless propaganda onslaught on its behalf, which culminates in several hundred fucktarded spinoffs and maybe - if it's clean - a spot on the news.

At this point, the sneering pricks who first publicised the 'meme' declare it to be 'old' and begin to snipe at anyone still found to be using it.

Said pricks then go back onto 4chan to find 'new memes'. Maybe a cute animal saying something incongruous. Maybe four old men eating each other's shit. Maybe someone failing on Youtube. Rinse and repeat, FOR TEH LULZ you pitiful fur in the arteries of mankind.
Nobody will guess we're stupid, talentless and generally loathsome if we call it a meme.

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- Hey, I notice you've posted 500 of that Vietnamese amputee shitting blood into the mouth of a circus acrobat in the last 8 hours. When you get called out on it, you try to appear like you're too cool to care. Yet you nurture this picture like the son you will never have. What does this say about you?

- STFU faggot imgmungfeast/img
by Lord Grimcock June 23, 2009
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Wearside. Descriptive of a gimp; one who is something of a gonk.

Not a term I ever heard before I started working in Sunderland, but I was called it there on a daily basis.
Hawaire man Charlie y'fuckin spenk.
by Lord Grimcock August 21, 2007
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In the word of kvlt, the nemesis and antipole of the Most Austere One, the Necrowizard.

The Homochrist's lukewarm powers are constantly infiltrating and warping mortal affairs, tainting all that is grim and enticing humanity towards his own elemental gayness.

Kvlt lore prophesises that the Homochrist will rematerialise over Palestine late in the Fourth Vorn, shortly before the final battle with the forces of Kvlt. Proceeding from Norway, the Necrowizard will encounter the Homochrist at Varghnorghnaul, somewhere in the vicinity of Goole.

There the Necrowizard will ritually challenge his bitter rival to mortal kömbat. The Homochrist will decline out of principle, and immediately be cloven in half with the Sword of Xfonshjuahh'k.

A most morbific jubilation will follow among all true necrolytes at the breaking of the gay Fourth Vorn and the ushering-in of the Fifth or Forlorn Vorn of eternal terror and despair. This too will mark the reinversion of the uninverted crosses of P'thwaaangjhiuth and the billion-year reign of darkness that is the fondest wish of all true necrolytes.

HAIL THE NECROWIZARD.
You can't possibly be thinking of buying that Green Day CD? Those cunts are the arse-welkins of the Homochrist.
by Lord Grimcock August 23, 2007
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