70 definitions by Lord Grimcock
by Lord Grimcock August 21, 2007
Wikipedianese for 'bullshit'.
by Lord Grimcock February 7, 2010
At some point about three years ago, it became fashionable for women to deface themselves with tattoos, usually above the waist or on the ankle or upper arm. I first became aware of this trend when some scratter shoved by me sporting a butterfly on the grotesque roll of mechanically tanned lard that hung around her belt. Had I known what was to come, I would have killed her then and there to stop the plague-like spread.
Originally confined to the lower orders, this has now 'trickled up' to the extent everyone from ballerinas to dinnerladies feels called on to complete herself by having some indecipherable Chinese bollocks or some flowers carved above her chuff.
At its most harmless, this is something discreet like a Celtic cross; at its worst, the 'tat' extends all across the lower back, leaving the gentleman with the impression he is fucking the Berlin Wall.
I suppose this was meant to look hawt and slightly dangerous, but all it does is mark the bearer down as a monumentally uninspired skank who'd probably wear a lip-plate if Nicole Richie got one.
See also: tramp stamp (US), sign of ten thousand penises, whoremark, etc.
Originally confined to the lower orders, this has now 'trickled up' to the extent everyone from ballerinas to dinnerladies feels called on to complete herself by having some indecipherable Chinese bollocks or some flowers carved above her chuff.
At its most harmless, this is something discreet like a Celtic cross; at its worst, the 'tat' extends all across the lower back, leaving the gentleman with the impression he is fucking the Berlin Wall.
I suppose this was meant to look hawt and slightly dangerous, but all it does is mark the bearer down as a monumentally uninspired skank who'd probably wear a lip-plate if Nicole Richie got one.
See also: tramp stamp (US), sign of ten thousand penises, whoremark, etc.
I thought she was a bit of alright until she bent down to open that drawer, exposing the eagle-wing slag badge on her lower spine.
by Lord Grimcock August 19, 2007
Tub-thumping ethnic poetry of no particular merit. It is estimated that if some means were found of converting woggerel into energy, Maya Angelou alone could power the whole of Kettering.
'Benjamin Zephaniah's latest compilation of self-justifying arsewad is pure woggerel.'
'Thank you Germaine. Tom Paulin?'
'Thank you Germaine. Tom Paulin?'
by Lord Grimcock August 21, 2007
Pressed against that schoolgirl's hip on the axle seat of the 57, I'm ashamed to say I involuntarily released a few drops of ball glaze as we passed over that unmade road, Father.
by Lord Grimcock September 4, 2007
A sexually indiscriminate woman; a slapper. A conflation of the word jizz with '-oon', to evoke a spitoon, as it were, for glob. Like the cuspador, a place you can release problem fluids where spitting them at the wall isn't a graceful option.
I found half a dozen foil wrappers and a pack of gonorrhea pills in Trish's handbag again. That bitch is a Forrestal-class jizzoon.
by Lord Grimcock September 7, 2007
She asked why I hoard all my old clothing receipts; I told her I suffered from telemanchecoprobleptophobia.
by Lord Grimcock November 17, 2008