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L.MARTIN's definitions

BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
mugGet the BIRTH CONTROLmug.

A-ROD SYNDROME

When you're really good at what you do...yet it fails to make those around you better...or produce winning results.
DRINKIN BUDDY 1:"What do Barry Bonds,John Kerry,Jim Kelly,& Carly Fiorina have in common?"

DRINKIN BUDDY 2:"'Dunno...A-ROD SYNDROME?"

DB 1:"Co-rrect!Next ones' on me."
by L.MARTIN November 23, 2005
mugGet the A-ROD SYNDROMEmug.

CODESPEAK

The annoying tendency of our mainstream political/ news/entertainment industrial complex to have it's talking heads deliver thinly veiled messages of class warfare and bigotry.ALL mainstream ideological viewpoints are guilty of this.
When America wants to explore it's ills...social or otherwise...it usually explores it in the context of skin color first...class second...and finally as a problem to be solved-when it's hideously clear that it's EVERYONES problem.(this sometimes takes decades)...But since for better or worse one is unable anymore to flat-out offend/demean/impugn the sensibilities of this or that tribe...words and phrases are used in conjunction with pictures to form or reinforce assumptions of what or who the "problem" is.A coupla' "CODESPEAKS'GREATEST HITS" would include:

"CHILDREN BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK"-For decades the picture in your head was that of a Black welfare mother with no father in sight...probably still is...But when you factor in such things as divorce and White professional females having kids...man be damned...you see that if in fact households without men is a problem...it's everyones problem.

"HIV"-Does'nt make the headlines much anymore unless it relates to Africa or the porn industry...But not too long ago when the disease was a sure death sentence...you never heard a story about HIV that did'nt suggest that this was a disease of "THE INNER CITY"...And without fail-there would be a story every year about some young Black man just outta jail who moves into some suburban/rural White community and starts infecting the local White girls.Suggesting that as long as you were a White heterosexual...and you only fucked other White heterosexuals...you need not worry.Of course someone forgot to tell NASCAR star Tim Richmond this before he went off and infected 250 groupies-uh women with it on his way to that great oval in the sky.(he was white)Of course there were no stories either about the probably thousands of "UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS"
people who've been infected...yet becuase of private health insurance and privacy issues did'nt end up in the stats that are so often repeated.IT'S STILL EVERYONES PROBLEM.

"CRIME"-Are you kidding me?
CODESPEAK ANCHORMAN:"In the news today:Low test scores...affirmative action...new golf course!Back after this."
by L.MARTIN October 19, 2005
mugGet the CODESPEAKmug.

McTACOHUT

The increasing number of fast food entities that share the same space...i.e. PIZZA HUT/TACO BELL...KFC/A&W...ETC.
ROAD WARRIOR:"Hey...let's pull off the freeway n' get some
quick grub at the McTACOHUT comin' up.

SIDE KICK: "Yep."
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
mugGet the McTACOHUTmug.

GROUPIE GENE

The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"

HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"

WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."

HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"

WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
mugGet the GROUPIE GENEmug.

TWO DATE RULE

FOR AVERAGE JOE HETEROSEXUAL:The point at which if a woman has'nt decided to do you(Trust me.-She knows.)...END.ALL.CONTACT! Either she's not into you...or worse...she'll continue to let you waste money time and attention on her.Painful as it may be-turn the page.Helpful hint:The wealthier you become...the more the world looks like a catalog.

FOR LESBIANS & GAYS: Shorten this to the "TWO EYEBLINK RULE"
Lucky fux!
DUDE 1:"So you takin' Mandy out tonite?"

DUDE 2:"Hell no.She talks too much.She keeps reminding me how incredibly smart she is...And to top it off she's maxed out the "TWO DATE RULE".Next.
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
mugGet the TWO DATE RULEmug.

FAME BUBBLE

The clubby,sheltered,cozy world of celebrity in which "THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE" float...That is until the bubble pops.
CELEBRITY NEWS ANCHORCHIK:"When we come back...it appears that
K-FED has had his FAME BUBBLE
popped.We'll tell you by who...stay
with us!"
by L.MARTIN December 8, 2005
mugGet the FAME BUBBLEmug.

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