L.MARTIN's definitions
Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"
HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"
HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."
HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"
HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."
HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
Get the PATERNITY TEST mug.While many beautiful women may post their profile and picture on an internet dating site...the only ones that you MR. AVERAGE JOE HETEROSEXUAL will hook up with are the 5's...and SINGLE MOTHERS.The 8,9,10 girl has her picture up for ego-grat
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #1:"It's been awhile.I just had to clear the pipes.Hooked up with this cute single mom off MATCH.Not goin' back."
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
Get the INTERNET DATING REALITY mug.Someone who lacks authority or power.When giving orders...or leading people...those you lead are more likely to follow if they respect your ability & competence.Otherwise-you might just as well be wearing something pink.
PROJECT MANAGER:"The schedule has us pouring the foundation tomorrow.Let's get 'er done!"
CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."
FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."
WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."
CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."
FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."
WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
Get the PINK SWEATER mug.1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."
CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."
SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."
CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."
SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
Get the BIRTH CONTROL mug.TIPSY-ABOUT TO GET SHUT DOWN ON A DATE-LOSER:"Sex is just so poorly designed."(hiccup)
WOMAN:"Oh?"
LOSER:"Yep.It should be free!":
"Pregnancy free."
"Disease free."
"Barrier free."
"Commitment free."
"Drama free."
"Cost free."
"You know...FREE!"
"...And it should come in nice "8" or higher
packaging."
WOMAN:"Check please."
WOMAN:"Oh?"
LOSER:"Yep.It should be free!":
"Pregnancy free."
"Disease free."
"Barrier free."
"Commitment free."
"Drama free."
"Cost free."
"You know...FREE!"
"...And it should come in nice "8" or higher
packaging."
WOMAN:"Check please."
by L.MARTIN September 23, 2005
Get the FREE mug.A useless legal document easily voided by even the most average of divorce attorneys.What she does'nt get in alimony
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
DIVORCEE'- "What are we gonna do? I stupidly signed that damn
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"
ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."
DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."
ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"
ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."
DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."
ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
Get the PRE-NUP mug."LEX WHIPPED OUT THE BIG DIAMOND CUTTER ON LITTLE BRIANNA.SHE GOT WIT' IT.GOOD FOOTAGE.PUT HER EYE OUT WITH THE MONEY SHOT."
by L.MARTIN September 15, 2005
Get the Diamond Cutter mug.