L.MARTIN's definitions

BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.

SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."

by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006

FREE

The overarching theme under which SEX would be re-designed...if men were in control.

TIPSY-ABOUT TO GET SHUT DOWN ON A DATE-LOSER:"Sex is just so poorly designed."(hiccup)

WOMAN:"Oh?"

LOSER:"Yep.It should be free!":
"Pregnancy free."
"Disease free."
"Barrier free."
"Commitment free."
"Drama free."
"Cost free."
"You know...FREE!"
"...And it should come in nice "8" or higher
packaging."

WOMAN:"Check please."

by L.MARTIN September 23, 2005

PINK SWEATER

Someone who lacks authority or power.When giving orders...or leading people...those you lead are more likely to follow if they respect your ability & competence.Otherwise-you might just as well be wearing something pink.

PROJECT MANAGER:"The schedule has us pouring the foundation tomorrow.Let's get 'er done!"

CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."

FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."

WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."

by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005

LUCKY SPERM

An epithet hurled by class warriors at people born to wealth and privilege.Of course they wish they had chosen their parents more wisely.

ACTRESS/WAITRESS 1:"I have Paris Hilton's table.LUCKY SPERM bitch!The whole fuckin'table of 'em.She better fuckin' tip BIG."

ACTRESS/WAITRESS 2:"My...what beautiful green eyes you have."

by L.MARTIN October 27, 2005

PATENT TROLL

A company-or divison of a company-whose sole reason for being is to sue other companies/individuals for patent infringment.Sometimes the troll is a large tech company with many patents.Other times it's a smaller company that purchases patents...then goes huntin'.Don't let this stop you from makin' shit.

UNBIASED ANCHORMAN:"Great news CRACKBERRY ADDICTS!The USPTO
ruled today that PATENT TROLL NTP's claims
against RIM are invalid.Whew...that was
close!More after these emai-uh messages."

by L.MARTIN December 22, 2005

RARE GROOVE

A style of music found at the intersection of jazz,funk,and rock.The golden age for this music was 1975 to about 1982.Most of the stars of the style just dabbled before going on to/back to that which paid the bills.As a
sub-genre it lacked a huge following...but it's influence can still be heard in music today.Usually as a sample.

RARE GROOVE ARTISTS:
Roy Ayers/Norman Connors/Ronnie Laws/Patrice Rushen/Ramsey Lewis/George Duke/Earth Wind & Fire/Gino Vanelli/Dexter Wansel/Leon Ware/Jean Carn/Michael Henderson/Lee Ritenour/Quincy Jones

by L.MARTIN December 6, 2005

RULE OF 123

IF YOU'RE A STRAIGHT MAN:
1)Out and about with one woman...RESPECT.

2)Out and about with two women...MUCH RESPECT.
(Quick note:This scenario was more likely to happen
in days gone by.(the 70's)Nowadays...to have two
women out for fun...then back to the pad for more
fun...is exceedingly rare.Unless they're "proffessionals".
Which by the way is not a bad thing in itself.

3)Out and about with three women...YOU'RE FEMME GAY.
Nothing wrong with that...but if you're not...one can
assume the worst case scenario...that you are deemed
SAFE and NON-THREATENING.

GUY 1:"Hey..check out that guy over there walking into the Victoria's Secret with those three hotties."

Guy 2:"No love.He's at the ass end of the the RULE OF 123.

by L.MARTIN October 3, 2005