L.MARTIN's definitions
An upscale strip mall on a stretch of P.C.H. sandwiched between NEWPORT BEACH and LAGUNA BEACH.Twelve dollar hamburgers...Two hundred dollar cooking utensils...Day spa's...Hot milfy's pulling up in Escalades and Bentley sedans-kid in tow-for some shopping at the Gap...40/50 something guys in Astons and Ferraris sipping Starbux-and projecting power via horsepower...2-20 million dollar homes in the hills behind the mall...all overlooking the Pacific.In other words...A WHITE RAP VIDEO...only it's real.
NEWPORT COAST RESIDENT WITH BINOCULARS:"Looks like Jim cashed in some Broadcom stock options and bought a FORD GT.Take a look.He just pulled in to CRYSTAL COVE."
NEIGHBOR:"I'm not puttin'up with that! Time to take the cover off the McLAREN...goin' down for a cup of coffee."
N.C.R.W.B-"My VEYRON was just delivered a coupla' days ago.I'm right behind 'ya.He has to be put in check!"
NEIGHBOR:"I'm not puttin'up with that! Time to take the cover off the McLAREN...goin' down for a cup of coffee."
N.C.R.W.B-"My VEYRON was just delivered a coupla' days ago.I'm right behind 'ya.He has to be put in check!"
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
Get the CRYSTAL COVE mug.1)The root cause of divorce.
2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.
3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would
be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit.
4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your
life.FOREVER.
5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent
sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive
destruction begins.
6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5
year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.
2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.
3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would
be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit.
4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your
life.FOREVER.
5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent
sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive
destruction begins.
6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5
year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.
by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006
Get the MARRIAGE mug.While many beautiful women may post their profile and picture on an internet dating site...the only ones that you MR. AVERAGE JOE HETEROSEXUAL will hook up with are the 5's...and SINGLE MOTHERS.The 8,9,10 girl has her picture up for ego-grat
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #1:"It's been awhile.I just had to clear the pipes.Hooked up with this cute single mom off MATCH.Not goin' back."
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
Get the INTERNET DATING REALITY mug.Someone who lacks authority or power.When giving orders...or leading people...those you lead are more likely to follow if they respect your ability & competence.Otherwise-you might just as well be wearing something pink.
PROJECT MANAGER:"The schedule has us pouring the foundation tomorrow.Let's get 'er done!"
CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."
FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."
WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."
CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."
FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."
WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
Get the PINK SWEATER mug.A 30something to 50something man of modest to respectable accomplishment who lands an attractive but no longer hot
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."
CHICK:"Alberto!...how nice to see you!(hug)Hope everything is
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
Get the CADDY mug.OIL TRADER:..."So we're walking through the park...and we drop a blanket on the grass at the amphitheater...and as I
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"
ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"
ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."
by L.MARTIN December 5, 2005
Get the DIAMOND COMMERCIAL mug.A useless legal document easily voided by even the most average of divorce attorneys.What she does'nt get in alimony
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
DIVORCEE'- "What are we gonna do? I stupidly signed that damn
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"
ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."
DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."
ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"
ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."
DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."
ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
Get the PRE-NUP mug.