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56 definitions by L.MARTIN

 
43.
You walk into a strip club flush with cash.Beautiful women take their clothes off and dance for you.One in particular
catches your eye.She's hot...charming...smart...and seemingly
level-headed.You know it's too good to be true.So does she.
Remember you're in a STRIP CLUB.You're paying women to behave
like their real-world polar opposite.She moves in...with her kid.Has yours.You're FUCKED.
INVESTMENT BANKER 1:"I've taken Mylene to dinner a coupla' times outside of this place.I'm thinkin' I might move her in.

IB2:"You'll beee sooorrry!Have'nt you ever heard of PSP?"

IB1:"PSP?"

IB2:"PSYCHO STRIPPER PARADOX.She's on her best behavior...until she moves in.Then
the fangs and the claws come out.
Been there."
by L.MARTIN January 29, 2006
 
44.
1A
The person in any organization-usually a sports team-who is
good enough to have a lead role.Too bad they're being blocked
by someone already in that coveted spot who's actually quite
good too.
EXAMPLE 1/BUSINESS WRITER TO COLLEAGUE:"If Dick Parsons is #1
at Time Warner,Jeff Bewkes must be 1A.Surely the guy will get his own company to run someday."

EXAMPLE 2/NFL 1A QUARTERBACKS:David Garrard....Gus Frerotte...John Kitna...Brad Johnson.
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
 
45.
When a man does something stupid a/o embarrasing a/o frivolous
for the "LOVE" of a woman.
OIL TRADER:..."So we're walking through the park...and we drop a blanket on the grass at the amphitheater...and as I
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"

ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."
by L.MARTIN December 04, 2005
 
46.
SEX AFFORDABILITY DYNAMIC....One more reason why it's better to be rich.As a straight man...once you get over the age of 25...if you're not rich or famous...generally speaking the quality of pussy you're able to fuck levels off.In fact it quite probably nosedives.The "young n'dumb n'drunk" MIGHT do you...But the "young n'sober/ambitious n'hot" will probably pass.This would explain why Average Joe in his mid-to late 20's claims to really dig older women.That's all that'll do your mediocre ass.
GYM MANAGER:"Unbelievable!This guy who just joined is uglier than the bottom of my shoe...but he walked in with this total babe."

FEEX GUY:"Must be the Bentley GT they pulled up in.Tsk
tsk...it's S.A.D."
by L.MARTIN November 04, 2005
 
47.
The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"

HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"

WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."

HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"

WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
 
48.
A defining moment when you realize the gods are aligned against you in pursuit of a goal...That and the realization that your handlers/advisors are either stupid or covertly sabotaging you.In either case they should all be fired.
ANCHORMAN:"Subsequent candidates looking to challenge SENATOR CLINTON have all suffered a PAGE 10 MOMENT. Leaving her little choice but to polish her acceptance speech."
by L.MARTIN December 06, 2005
 
49.
The clubby,sheltered,cozy world of celebrity in which "THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE" float...That is until the bubble pops.
CELEBRITY NEWS ANCHORCHIK:"When we come back...it appears that
K-FED has had his FAME BUBBLE
popped.We'll tell you by who...stay
with us!"
by L.MARTIN December 08, 2005