L.MARTIN's definitions

GROUPIE GENE

The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.

WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"

HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"

WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."

HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"

WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."

by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005

COCAINE DECISION

TITLED AFTER FRANK ZAPPA SONG:Someone who makes impulsive, grand scale decisions involving large amounts of money-(usually other peoples')...Facts,consequences and reality be damned.Cocaine is'nt always involved.It just looks that way.

ENRON EXEC.1:"Let's just set up a state-of-the-art trading floor.We'll find something to trade on it later."

ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!

ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."

by L.MARTIN December 10, 2005

PICK SIX

AMERICAN FOOTBALL: An interception returned for a touchdown.

SPORTS FAN 1:"Did you see Ed Reeds' PICK SIX off Tom Brady last week?"

Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."

by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005

McTACOHUT

The increasing number of fast food entities that share the same space...i.e. PIZZA HUT/TACO BELL...KFC/A&W...ETC.

ROAD WARRIOR:"Hey...let's pull off the freeway n' get some
quick grub at the McTACOHUT comin' up.

SIDE KICK: "Yep."

by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005

S.A.D.

SEX AFFORDABILITY DYNAMIC....One more reason why it's better to be rich.As a straight man...once you get over the age of 25...if you're not rich or famous...generally speaking the quality of pussy you're able to fuck levels off.In fact it quite probably nosedives.The "young n'dumb n'drunk" MIGHT do you...But the "young n'sober/ambitious n'hot" will probably pass.This would explain why Average Joe in his mid-to late 20's claims to really dig older women.That's all that'll do your mediocre ass.

GYM MANAGER:"Unbelievable!This guy who just joined is uglier than the bottom of my shoe...but he walked in with this total babe."

FEEX GUY:"Must be the Bentley GT they pulled up in.Tsk
tsk...it's S.A.D."

by L.MARTIN November 5, 2005

SNOWBLIND

The almost freakish obsession that second and third generation young women from the the Far East,Pacific Islands,and the Carribean have for dorky...socially inept...cornball white guys.(It's never the cool ones.)He's "safe"...he's got a professional gig...he digs Toyota Camrys.How exciting.

BLACK GUY 1:"Think I'll go over chat up that hot Korean babe."

ITALIAN GUY 2:"Save it.She's so SNOWBLIND that she masturbates to Bill Gates posters."

by L.MARTIN October 17, 2005

CADDY

A 30something to 50something man of modest to respectable accomplishment who lands an attractive but no longer hot
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."

CHICK:"Alberto!...how nice to see you!(hug)Hope everything is
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."

by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005