Fearman's definitions

death

Nature's way of reminding you that health foods don't work.

She had a lovely death, up to her eyeballs in water biscuits and cucumber sandwiches.

by Fearman July 6, 2007

landlord's contract

A written contract that is supposed to make a transaction look above board and official, and to suggest that the buyer has a degree of comeback, but which the party offering the document can ignore at will. As they say, it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

Dickie O'Kelly presented his tenants with the landlord's contract in connection with the quality of their accommodation, and then disappeared to South Africa with their money.

by Fearman August 10, 2007

Elliott Carver

Played by Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997). Newspaper magnate who likes to make his own stories. Had his wife murdered for colluding with 007 (and thoughtfully put her in his news bulletin). Prepared to risk WW3 in order to secure his market in China. Made the film. The only truly frightening Bond villain in the franchise's history.

Elliott Carver (on Bond's mobile in Hamburg): You have two things belonging to me, Mr. Bond. Now I've found one of them, I've a fair idea where the other one is.

(He is referring to his satellite decoder and his wife. Bond floors the accelerator back to the hotel ...,)

by Fearman August 4, 2007

Pierce Brosnan

Attractive but bland Irish actor. From Navan, County Meath. Played James Bond in four movies. Looked perfect in the posters, don't know about the movies; he was a kind of generic Bond without much bite. The first one was a good enough revamp in its way. The second was made by its villain (who, uniquely among Bond baddies, was genuinely scary) into possibly the cream of the franchise. As for the latter two ... what happened?

The name's Brosnan. Pierce Brosnan. Now, where did I leave my personality?

by Fearman August 4, 2007

Yoda

A whill he is. Green he is. Exiled on Dagobah in his twilight years he is. Strong in the Force he is. The best Muppet in a billion galaxies he is. Sounds like Fozzie Bear he does, not surprising which is voiced by Frank Oz he is because. More to say I need not, hmmmm?

Yoda. Jedi Master. The hottest little green thing on two legs.

by Fearman December 24, 2007

Venun

Drop-dead sexy woman who has entered a convent.

If you wanted to catch Pauline at the club, it's too late. She's taken orders and become a Venun.

by Fearman February 2, 2008

toolshed

Location used to consummate deals with Satan, according to lyrics some Christian wingnut alleged were back-masked in Led Zeppelin's classic song "Stairway to Heaven".

" ... down there in the toolshed where he used to make us so sad O my sweet Satan ...,"

by Fearman May 24, 2008