Fearman's definitions

Frankenphobia

Morbid irrational fear of biotechnology and/or its products. Endlessly incited by born-again hippie fundamentalists, who would prefer us all to live like Freddie Flintstone. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (an endlessly quoted popular reference) and the suffix -phobia.

Morning Flower is spreading her Frankenphobia around again, telling everyone genetically modified tomatoes are bad for their children.

When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?

by Fearman January 6, 2008

Silver Shamrock

Fictitious mask company in the third instalment in the Hallowe'en franchise, "Season of the Witch" (the one without Mr. Myers). The masks are the colours of the Irish national flag (orange Jack-O-Lantern, white skull, green witch), and are made by a company in a weird all-Oirish town on the coast of California. On activation by a signal on the big night, the masks transform their (numerous) wearers' heads into so many divers creepy-crawlies. The Silver Shamrock company wins the booby prize for the most irritating television jingle ever inflicted on the world in fact or fiction; a countdown to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down", starting "(x) days to Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en". I had it in my head for WEEKS. The head of the company is played by an actor from Wexford, Ireland, and incidentally as far as I can tell is the only figure in the history of American horror films to pronounce Samhain correctly.

Four days left to Hallowe'en,
Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en,
Four more days to Hallowe'en,
Silver Shamrock!

by Fearman February 10, 2008

Ballymoreau

Hick town or boghole in the backwoods of Ireland so dangerously rustic that you'd think some mad scientist had engineered the locals from a herd of Frisians. From H.G. Wells' Island of Dr. Moreau.

We're in Ballymoreau, County Carlow. Let's get out of here.

by Fearman March 4, 2008

wenis

Sinew spelt backwards. Something very soft.

Wenis. Sinew. One or the other.

by Fearman November 11, 2007

Elliott Carver

Played by Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997). Newspaper magnate who likes to make his own stories. Had his wife murdered for colluding with 007 (and thoughtfully put her in his news bulletin). Prepared to risk WW3 in order to secure his market in China. Made the film. The only truly frightening Bond villain in the franchise's history.

Elliott Carver (on Bond's mobile in Hamburg): You have two things belonging to me, Mr. Bond. Now I've found one of them, I've a fair idea where the other one is.

(He is referring to his satellite decoder and his wife. Bond floors the accelerator back to the hotel ...,)

by Fearman August 4, 2007

landlord's contract

A written contract that is supposed to make a transaction look above board and official, and to suggest that the buyer has a degree of comeback, but which the party offering the document can ignore at will. As they say, it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

Dickie O'Kelly presented his tenants with the landlord's contract in connection with the quality of their accommodation, and then disappeared to South Africa with their money.

by Fearman August 10, 2007

death

Nature's way of reminding you that health foods don't work.

She had a lovely death, up to her eyeballs in water biscuits and cucumber sandwiches.

by Fearman July 6, 2007