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Fearman's definitions

quack-my-ass clause

Advice invariably found in the literature handed out by purveyors of so-called "alternative" or "complementary" medicine, in which customers intending to buy quackery are advised to check with their GPs first to find what "mainstream medicine" has to say.

The venomous diatribes against real medicine, and science and rationality in general, behind the closed doors of the "alternative" movement should tell you all you need to know about the sincerity of the quack-my-ass clause. On the face of it, it sounds obvious, egalitiarian and big-hearted. However, the real intention of the advice is to ensure that if anyone dies or is incapacitated by taking the quack's advice or products (or by swearing off real medicine, which may not be advised on the packaging but is a stock in trade in the "alternative" industry), if the matter comes to court the quack's lawyer can claim that the product or the service was misused; obviously, they didn't check with their GP, how unfortunate, it's not our fault.

Besides, the quack knows perfectly well their client is unlikely to see their GP or specialist about whatever the problem is, or if they do they won't pay much attention to their advice. If they did, they wouldn't be coming to the quack in the first place.
Ah, here's the booklet; 123 symptoms this product may be able to cure, 256 further lists of types of people the product may be able to help, 25 more natural products from the same factory that might be able to balance your energies and so on, and, oh yes, the quack-my-ass clause.
by Fearman September 10, 2007
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narcissism

1. Generally a deeply dysfunctional state of mind in which one is in love with oneself, often at a rather superficial level. From the Greek myth of Narcissus, who wasted away out of unrequited love for his own reflection in a pool.

2. More specifically described at its worst as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD. NPD is characterised by the following:

Refusal to admit that one is narcissistic. The horror author Stephen King once wrote that alcoholics build defence mechanisms like the Dutch build dykes. Narcissists are kind of the same, except that compared to your average narcissist, your average alcoholic is a rank amateur.

An exaggerated sense of self-importance, with the narcissist often talking about private, professional or other interpersonal relationships in which they are involved as though nobody else really existed.

A preoccupation with fantasies of pure or unlimited power, beauty, "authenticity", intelligence, love and so on. Has an urgent need for praise.

A tendency to read what people say out of context, or more likely without any context, and a disability to spot when they are being taken for a ride.

Belief on the narcissist's part that people vastly more gifted than they are (in whatever respect) are their natural equals, and a snobbish contempt for anything less.

A sense of entitlement; narcissists are typically manipulative, haughty, arrogant and generally destructive in their relationships with others.

A narcissist may appear overly anxious to show respect for the property and privacy of those they cannot profitably step on. Towards those under them in any social hierarchy (employees, offspring, subservient spouses, etc.,), they are shamelessly controlling, frequently treating such other peoples' property as their own to use or discard, on a more trivial level barging intrusively into their conversations, and so on. Narcissists treat those below them, or loyal to them, as extentions of their own egos.

Lack empathy and tends to treat other people like dirt, when they can get away with it.

Project a sense of immense effort, as though eternally hoping that some teacher will award them an A for it; at the same time their work is frequently slipshod and they secretly delegate to social subordinates.

Narcissists show no need to take any responsibility for the untoward results of their own actions, frequently going to ingenious extremes to weasel their way out of anything of the sort. After all, anything else would first require them to admit, as more than some petty platitude, that they aren't perfect.

Frequently project their own shortcomings onto others, especially whose whom they can control or of whom they are envious.
Carol's narcissism inspired her first husband to leave everything to her in his will. Some say she drove him into an early grave. She enjoys the money, but now nobody with a brain cell will touch her and her kids don't want to know her.
by Fearman March 28, 2008
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Sphenisciformosanikleptophobia

Fear that, one by one, the penguins are stealing one's sanity.
Jimmy hasn't left the house lately. He's writing threatening letters to his great-great-great grandchildren and won't believe they haven't been born yet. It's kind of ironic that he seems to have sphenisciformosanikleptophobia; he won't go to the zoo. Ever.
by Fearman June 15, 2007
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people's republic of Cork

Logo often found on T-shirts in Ireland's largest and southernmost county, particularly in its capital city of the same name (pop. c. 200,000). A subtle sign of "The Rebel" County Cork's coming secession from the rest of the island.
by Fearman December 17, 2007
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flashback humour

Indirect breach of the fourth wall at the end of the movie "Fight Club". When the plot comes around to the opening scene again after two hours of flashback, the Narrator (Edward Norton) states he "still hasn't anything to say", and Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) refers to this as "flashback humour".
by Fearman December 23, 2007
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chime in the slime

Local term for a digital counter with a green readout submerged in the River Liffey immediately upstream of O'Connell Bridge, Dublin, Ireland some time in the mid-1990s and intended to count away the remaining seconds to the start of the year 2000 CE. Within a matter of weeks it was clogged up with scum and dirt, broke down and had to be removed.
What do you think was better: the stiletto in the ghetto or the chime in the slime?
by Fearman December 10, 2007
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Chthulhu

Vast entity seeking to re-enter the stream of terrestrial time-space, as revealed in the visionary works of H. P. Lovecraft. Gibbous, vast, eldritch, gibbering, and infinitely rebulbulous in his extra-terrestrial physics and non-Euclidean geometry. His feelers extend to all the best dinner parties where the unsuspecting taste him in the wine, rip off their clothes and expose the darkest secrets of their splenetic nightmares. The best friend of necrotic occultists everywhere. His friends all call him "Percy". Will sign copies of the Necronomicon for free, with heart-felt dedications ... if you dare look him in his extra-cosmic face.
Chthulhu ... the master of ectopic time.
by Fearman August 31, 2007
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