Duckbutt's definitions

mushroom status

This is the plight occasionally experienced by lower-level college administrators such as department or division chairs in which they are on a short leash as to what they can do, are regularly given a ration of shit, and are kept in the dark.

No budget, no instructions, no discretion or wiggle room; Bill has been consigned to mushroom status and regular Friday afternoon meetings.

by Duckbutt September 23, 2005

candyass

An ineffectual person; someone who is afraid of risk or shrinks from conflict.

Only a candyass drinks lite beer; heroes specify Guinness!

by Duckbutt November 9, 2004

uninstalled

A slang synonym for getting fired.

Wally had second thoughts about his making out with the boss's secretary/mistress in the copy room after he was uninstalled from the Ripoff Systems Analysis Corporation.

by Duckbutt October 1, 2005

Nine F-er

A medical slang expression to refer to the typical gallbladder patient: Fat, fortyish, fecund, flatulent female with foul, foaming, floating feces.

Marge was your typical nine F-er: gallbladder problem likely.

by Duckbutt September 18, 2005

airborne coitus

Periphrastic speech for flying fuck, usually preceded by "I don't give a . . . . ".

I don't give an airborne coitus what Massachuetts senators think!

by Duckbutt November 20, 2005

doesn't love the Lord and Southeastern Conference football

An ironic expression used by Southern males to express disbelief in or mild condemnation of some else's attitudes or behavior, supposedly drawing on some stereotypes of Southerners. (This expression possibly originated with Lewis Grizzard, a most excellent American humorist and commentator.)

Billy Bob eats strawberry Moon Pies and drinks Pepsi; only someone who doesn't love the Lord and Southeastern Conference football would do that.

by Duckbutt November 4, 2005

douchebag index

The douchebag index (DBI) is a statistic that yields the number of days since a person last bathed. It is found by multiplying the number of visible tattoos (VT) by the number of missing teeth (MT).

DBI = VT X MT

This dude's douchebag index is 27, meaning that he hasn't bathed in about four weeks. He has nine gross tattoos and three missing teeth.

by Duckbutt January 9, 2008