Cunty Fresh Fanatic's definitions
The best kept secret of clean crotched women across the globe. A heavy duty povidone-iodine douche. Basically, the last over-the-counter resort women have.
woman 1: If it wasn't for vagi-gard, I would have been in the ER for sure.
woman 2: Thank heavens. Want to scissor with that extra clean bearded clam of yours?
(Scissoring ensues. Without a funky mess mind you.)
woman 2: Thank heavens. Want to scissor with that extra clean bearded clam of yours?
(Scissoring ensues. Without a funky mess mind you.)
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic March 23, 2012
Get the vagi-gard mug.Wanda: I'll have the sausage stuffed clam tonight.
Randy: What's that?
Wanda: Need I explain? (Makes a gesture with her hands of one finger going in and out of a cavity made out of the other hand.)
Randy: Ohhh! (Exposes his instantaneously erect penis.)
Wanda: You got the idea now cock me hard!
Randy: What's that?
Wanda: Need I explain? (Makes a gesture with her hands of one finger going in and out of a cavity made out of the other hand.)
Randy: Ohhh! (Exposes his instantaneously erect penis.)
Wanda: You got the idea now cock me hard!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic December 5, 2011
Get the sausage stuffed clam mug.1. Like being Michael Moored, but nobody watched the movie it happened in. So it is like it never happened, anyway. 2. A non event.
1. Some faggy Jesus freaks got Bill Maherred in "Religulous", which means it's like nothing ever happened.
2. I shit myself on the subway, but the car was filled with a support group of sexually impotent coprophiliacs. I bill maherred that one.
2. I shit myself on the subway, but the car was filled with a support group of sexually impotent coprophiliacs. I bill maherred that one.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 31, 2011
Get the bill maherred mug.Any bullshitter claiming to be involved in a company, corporation, partnership, et cetera and/or claiming to be an investor in stocks, commodities, bonds, et cetera. Usually used to bed a woman, but also to get inept and submissive people to bow to them.
loser: Yeah I'm looking everyday, for something new to invest my money in.
Me: Oh, you day-trade?
loser: No. I have my money in a mutual fund. I was looking to invest my money in a restaurant franchise. Me and my wife are going to look at property today.
winner: That'll be around a million for high traffic real estate, a million to purchase a franchise, plus your going to have to ante up to whomever owns any exclusivity rights, plus you have to...
loser: It shouldn't be that much. My friend that makes mad money, selling time shares, he found me the property.
Me: Mad money?
loser: Like thirty grand a month in the summer.
Me: Sounds like your impoverished friend is a bit of a bullshitnessman, such as yourself.
loser's wife: Come to think of it, you haven't done thing business-wise since I've known you. That's why I have a hard time getting wet for you.
Me: Oh, you day-trade?
loser: No. I have my money in a mutual fund. I was looking to invest my money in a restaurant franchise. Me and my wife are going to look at property today.
winner: That'll be around a million for high traffic real estate, a million to purchase a franchise, plus your going to have to ante up to whomever owns any exclusivity rights, plus you have to...
loser: It shouldn't be that much. My friend that makes mad money, selling time shares, he found me the property.
Me: Mad money?
loser: Like thirty grand a month in the summer.
Me: Sounds like your impoverished friend is a bit of a bullshitnessman, such as yourself.
loser's wife: Come to think of it, you haven't done thing business-wise since I've known you. That's why I have a hard time getting wet for you.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 31, 2011
Get the bullshitnessman mug.Any corporation, partnership, company et cetera, any poser claims to be part of. Usually to impress white trash females, but also as a pathetic attempt at gaining a higher social status.
poser: I plan on inventing a new deer hunting call. It'll bring in the big one's for sure.
Me: What does it do?
poser: It will mimic the sounds deers horns make when they fight over a doe. You see 'em all in hunting stores. I'll just make my own, and patent it.
Me: Deer have antlers, not horns. You have to be able to use engineering and legal terms. You don't even know how to change the oil on your motorcycle.
poser: I'll make millions, you'll see.
Me: Next time keep your bullshitness, to yourself needle dick!
Me: What does it do?
poser: It will mimic the sounds deers horns make when they fight over a doe. You see 'em all in hunting stores. I'll just make my own, and patent it.
Me: Deer have antlers, not horns. You have to be able to use engineering and legal terms. You don't even know how to change the oil on your motorcycle.
poser: I'll make millions, you'll see.
Me: Next time keep your bullshitness, to yourself needle dick!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 31, 2011
Get the bullshitness mug.pedophile 1: I wish iCarly and her co-star would give me a tweenwich.
pedophile 2: I wish I could watch.
pedophile 1: You're into adults too? You fucking sickie.
pedophile 2: I wish I could watch.
pedophile 1: You're into adults too? You fucking sickie.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 31, 2011
Get the tweenwich mug.The covert act of getting fellatio, while prairie dogging. The cock sucker never knows they are giving a blumpkin. Sometimes, the receiver may spray febreze on the prairie dog, to keep it's odor hidden.
stealth blumpkineer: Suck my dick you pseudo hippie bitch. Oh yeah.
fake hippie bitch: (garbled) I love your big, veiny, uncircumcised, French cock. It's better than pussy.
Prairie dog pops out and disappears.
fake hippie bitch: (garbled) Get ready as I deepthroat and rim job you, together.
Prairie dog pops out and gets licked! Sex act stops.
fake hippie bitch: How dare you stealth blumpkin me.
Woman whips out her NRA card and a Desert Eagle. Shoots guys balls off.
fake hippie bitch: (garbled) I love your big, veiny, uncircumcised, French cock. It's better than pussy.
Prairie dog pops out and disappears.
fake hippie bitch: (garbled) Get ready as I deepthroat and rim job you, together.
Prairie dog pops out and gets licked! Sex act stops.
fake hippie bitch: How dare you stealth blumpkin me.
Woman whips out her NRA card and a Desert Eagle. Shoots guys balls off.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 31, 2011
Get the stealth blumpkin mug.