21 definitions by Clarebear81

Top Definition
A condition commonly suffered after excessive partying, named after London's most hedonistic district. The effect is reminiscent of the effects of long distance air travel, whereby your body no longer has any concept of what time of day or night it really is.
Cassie was struggling on on Sunday. After Friday's drinks got a bit out of hand, she had a serious case of Whitechapel jetlag and still isn't completely sure what day it is.
by Clarebear81 January 09, 2011

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Dystextia is when you misspell a word whilst typing an SMS message into your mobile phone. Often exacerbated by over-sized thumbs or excessive alcohol consumption.
what the hell does this text message from Greg mean?" "I'm not sure but it's three in the afternoon on a Friday and his dystextia is often bad at this time after all those wines at lunch.
by Clarebear81 December 10, 2010

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A condition whereby you have more apple branded products than is justifiable or necessary.
With the new iPad she got from her bosses at work, the iPhone upgrade and the new MacBook, Clare felt completely apple maxed.
by Clarebear81 January 07, 2011

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A measure of one's sexual activity and its impact.
John tended to avoid sex on a Sunday in an attempt to off-set his carnal footprint.
by Clarebear81 March 21, 2011

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A smartphone used primarily for looking up porn and sending suggestive texts.
Jez is such a creep! Look at the message he just sent me from his smutphone!!
by Clarebear81 February 19, 2011

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An expensive piece of technological equipment from apple that rarely functions/gets lost/become superceeded by the why-pad2.
After she had spent 2 hours unsuccessfully trying to download the document, Rhiannon was beginning to question the reasons she'd been so excited about getting the why-pad in the first place.
by Clarebear81 April 09, 2011

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To withdraw early from a social event, citing domestic commitments as the cause. Derived from the common expression 'pull a whitey' used to describe those who crash out after drink/drugs.
Ever since he got married, Simon has been known to pull a wifey on several occasions, leaving the pub and all his friends mid-session, saying he has to get back to the missus.
by Clarebear81 February 14, 2011

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