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20 definitions by CapTim

 
1.
The smug, self-satisfied feeling one experiences after:

A: having sex with someone way out of your league.
B: having just had the best sex of your life up to that point.

Man, the house could have been burning down and I wouldn't have given a damn. I was too busy basking in the aftergloat.
by CapTim February 19, 2008
16 1
 
2.
The absolute opposite of a hot receptionist/secretary.

A secretary so unappealing that not only would you never dare consider risking your job for sexual relations with her, but you're completely put off the entire female gender every time you pass her desk.
The fantasy Jim had been having involving Angelina Jolie, a desert island and a sack of viagra was completely nullified when he walked past his contraceptionist's desk.
by CapTim January 25, 2008
13 1
 
3.
1. An intertwining of 2 or more naked bodies.

2. A naked pose that only an incredibly flexible female gymnast can sustain.
1. Upon returning from fetching a drink in the kitchen I discovered three fine females entwined in a FleshPretzel on my bed....AWESOME!

2. See that thing she's doing with her legs behind her ears? That's a FleshPretzel...uh huh!
by CapTim January 25, 2008
10 1
 
4.
Someone who attempts (often to impress members of the opposite sex/colleagues) to play the role of sophisticated philosopher, but instead ends up becoming lost up his/her own ass, due to being completely out of their depth...
Johnny over there revealed himself to be a true philostopher when he attempted to explain how quantum theory relates to religion. We realized this when he referred to quantum as "something to do with, you know, maths. And stuff".
by CapTim October 17, 2007
11 2
 
5.
The absence of a defined wrist on a person - whereby the forearm of the arm merges directly into the hand. The forearm appears to replace the wrist - hence the term "fwrists".

Very similar to cankles, except on the arms instead of the legs.
Damn that chick's got some huge forearms - LOOK! She's got fwrists!
by CapTim May 21, 2008
9 1
 
6.
A bloated, self-important and self-absorbed chump, usually disturbingly overweight and obsessed with masturbation.

Stems from tosser and waddler.
GuyA: See that guy over there?

GuyB: That obese guy following that hot chick around?

GuyA: yeah, the guy playing pocket pool...

GuyB: What a tosswaddler!
by CapTim April 15, 2008
7 0
 
7.
The absolute opposite of a hot receptionist/secretary.

A secretary so unappealing that not only would you never dare consider risking your job for sexual relations with her, but you're completely put off the entire female gender every time you pass her desk.
The fantasy Jim had been having involving Angelina Jolie, a desert island and a sack of viagra was completely nullified when he walked past his contreceptionist's desk.
by CapTim January 25, 2008
6 0