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CapTim's definitions

tosswaddler

A bloated, self-important and self-absorbed chump, usually disturbingly overweight and obsessed with masturbation.

Stems from tosser and waddler.
GuyA: See that guy over there?

GuyB: That obese guy following that hot chick around?

GuyA: yeah, the guy playing pocket pool...

GuyB: What a tosswaddler!
by CapTim April 15, 2008
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whoredition

An audition for a role in a film/play/band that is not based on the quality of actual performance, but rather on the quality of sexual favors provided to secure said role.
Jamie's such a hottie that we allowed her to whoredition for the band, even though everyone knows she can't sing to save her soul.
by CapTim March 18, 2009
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contreceptionist

The absolute opposite of a hot receptionist/secretary.

A secretary so unappealing that not only would you never dare consider risking your job for sexual relations with her, but you're completely put off the entire female gender every time you pass her desk.
The fantasy Jim had been having involving Angelina Jolie, a desert island and a sack of viagra was completely nullified when he walked past his contreceptionist's desk.
by CapTim January 25, 2008
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philostophy

The bogus theory presented by a philostopher.
Johnny's blatant philostophy revealed he knew absolutely nothing about quantum theory OR religion. In fact it only served to reveal what an abject idiot he was for talking way out of his depth.
by CapTim November 1, 2007
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FleshPretzel

1. An intertwining of 2 or more naked bodies.

2. A naked pose that only an incredibly flexible female gymnast can sustain.
1. Upon returning from fetching a drink in the kitchen I discovered three fine females entwined in a FleshPretzel on my bed....AWESOME!

2. See that thing she's doing with her legs behind her ears? That's a FleshPretzel...uh huh!
by CapTim January 25, 2008
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pheNomNomenal

When food is so delicious it surpasses phenomenal status and is termed pheNomNomenal, as a result of the multiple noms it induces.
This cheese burger is phenomenal... no wait! It's pheNomNomenal! Nom! Nom!
by CapTim June 29, 2009
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poop snooker

Hey baby, you down for some poop snooker tonight?
by CapTim December 9, 2008
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