Cooking From Scratch

When the last thing you did before food prep was scratch your nuts furiously.
He brags about cooking from scratch but I wonder what he scratched.
by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020
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Safety Plank

The wooden board you strap horizontally across your ass to prevent you from falling into the cavernous vagina your are about to slam.
I told him to use a safety plank but oh no he knew better. Dude we had to call the fire department to get him out of her vagina.
by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020
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Hard Time

What your dumb ass ends up serving because you mixed up your Grandpa's viagra with his valium.
Man I just wanted to get high. I drank too much Jack, took two of Grampys viagra cause I thought they was the valium. You can't hide that shit in track pants. I did 4 hours of hard time bitches.
by Angus McCracken February 08, 2020
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Polio of the Bungholio

A case of diarrhea so nasty it makes you question your very humanity.
(Gagging) OMG honey you need to see a doctor. I think you have polio of the bungholio. It is like living with a farm animal.
by Angus McCracken February 04, 2020
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Peek-a-Boo

What you imagine your hemorrhoids saying after a long day on your feet.
Honey where is the Preperation H? My dam hemorrhoids are playing peek-a-boo again.
by Angus McCracken February 04, 2020
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Greasy Lizard

(Noun) What your dick becomes when you can't decide what you want to do most, eat KFC or jerk off, so you do both simultaneously.
You disgusting pig. Put down that chicken. Your tiny dick looks like a greasy lizard.
by Angus McCracken February 12, 2020
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Quiver Master

1. The individual responsible for managing the arrows in the quiver.

2. An individual with large fingers who is skilled in pleasuring the ladies.
by Angus McCracken February 04, 2020
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