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That's what I told my first wife.
Much like the popular phrase "that's what she said", "that's what I told my first wife" can apply to male only references. The first known use was by Michael Thor Lengies Sept. 2012.
Perfect set ups:
"It's doesn't get any harder than this." "That's what I told my first wife."
Sarcastic:
"I always wear condoms." "That's what I told my first wife."
Out of no where:
"I've got a date at 9:00." "That's what I told my first wife."
Self degrading humor:
"I'm just not a one woman man." "Yeah, that's what I told my first wife."
Thats what he said, Thats what she said, Inuendo, Sexual,
"It's doesn't get any harder than this." "That's what I told my first wife."
Sarcastic:
"I always wear condoms." "That's what I told my first wife."
Out of no where:
"I've got a date at 9:00." "That's what I told my first wife."
Self degrading humor:
"I'm just not a one woman man." "Yeah, that's what I told my first wife."
Thats what he said, Thats what she said, Inuendo, Sexual,
That's what I told my first wife. by JoeliusC September 28, 2012
Related Words
Wife that • National thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day • That's what I told my first wife. • legally blonde and his skunk head wife and there home alone looking receding line twerp of a son that cries himself to sleep and still wets the bed • wife • wife in law • Wife Material • wife swapping • wife basher • Wife Check
legally blonde and his skunk head wife and there home alone looking receding line twerp of a son that cries himself to sleep and still wets the bed
Lucius, narcissa, and draco malfoy
National thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day
I know that your wife but I gotta clap her cheeks for national thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day.
National thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day by Sleezy Breezy June 26, 2019
bang a you-ee
bang a you-ee by Pistolero Pierro May 4, 2008
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
Fleg
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.
The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.
The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.
The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
Skeef
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026