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wet the monkey

a phrase used when other euphemisms just won't do.
I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.

That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
by Bishopk March 4, 2009
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wet the monkey

To perform a sexual act involving male genitalia that are moistened by any substance, especially by, ahem, natural lubrication.
I haven't wet the monkey in FOREVER. I'm seriously pining.

Dude, you wet the monkey when you're by yourself? That takes a lot of effort. I normally keep it dry.
by Garr Fizlock March 4, 2009
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