wet the monkey 

a phrase used when other euphemisms just won't do.

I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.

That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.

wet the monkey by Bishopk March 4, 2009

wet the monkey 

To perform a sexual act involving male genitalia that are moistened by any substance, especially by, ahem, natural lubrication.

I haven't wet the monkey in FOREVER. I'm seriously pining.

Dude, you wet the monkey when you're by yourself? That takes a lot of effort. I normally keep it dry.

wet the monkey by Garr Fizlock March 4, 2009