Skip to main content
An unjoke is a "joke" that doesn't actually employ humor whatsoever. Most unjokes will use the set-up from a well-known joke to hook the listener in, then end the joke with a completely serious "punchline." It is crucial that unjokes ARE NOT FUNNY at their base value. What's funny about them is that they aren't funny at all. If you don't get that, then you just don't get it.
Here are some unjokes for your enjoyment.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Hold her head underwater until she stops struggling.

So, a duck walks into a bar and sits down on a barstool. Animal Control is called immediately, they capture the duck, and set it free at a nearby pond.

Q: What's the difference between a Jaguar and a dead baby?
A: One is an automotive machine and the other is a tragic loss of human life. There's lots of differences, honestly.

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon?
A: Five. Four, comfortably.
unjoke by VooLaLa June 13, 2008
A long, drawn-out joke with an elaborate backstory, misguided details, and unnessesary exposition. What seperates this from other jokes is the deadpan ending, usually marked by something ridiculously stupid, a groan-inducing pun, or simply no punchline at all.
Usually told to make the joke teller laugh at the audience's dissapointment and confusion. Most of the time, some of the audience members join in the laugher as an attempt not to look like "the guy who didn't get the joke".
The most common Unjokes are: The Tennis Ball Joke, The Friar Joke, The Clown Joke, The Shaggy Dog Joke

I dont feel like typing out one of the incredibly long jokes... so here is a short one.

So two polar bears are in a bathtub together. One says to the other, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The other says, "That's not soap... That's a radio!!" (Laugh for effect. Others should join in)
unjoke by Cuppy Brown May 28, 2006
Related Words

Unwoke-up 

When you reach an epiphany after being woke that you don't need to conform to the idea of being woke or the deluded belief of demonstrating an incorrect belief of being socially and politically superior to those that disagree with you.
Being woke actually encourages division and intolerance. I woke up from being woke; I unwoke-up.
Unwoke-up by Cotton Rocks November 14, 2021
a chance to go back and save your mind, body, and soul from marijuana drug pollution; a term created with a poetic underlying meaning to describe the regretful desire to be a better NON-DRUG using person

a damn word that people spend way too much time trying to figure out!
Screenname: omg its the original untoke!! yer name is soo cool

Screenname2: wot da fuq does untoke mean??? ru drug free er somthin??

Screenname3: untoke aint even a word!!

untoke: ???
untoke by untoke February 6, 2009
When you don’t conform to the idea that you are woke, or the deluded belief of being socially and politically superior because for calling random people nazis.
Am she became unwoke when she researched the issues for herself
Unwoke by Smart Aleck ;) January 21, 2021
Unjokin is someone who tries to be funny, but he’s not for sure.
Unjokin stop hunting our air
Unjokin by KhaI1d October 28, 2019
Courtney Miller’s biggest fear.
*The Smosh squad is playing The Who know me best challenge, question- What is Courtney’s biggest fear*

Olivia writes being unwoke

Courtney chooses Olivia’s answer because they are besties and that is Courtney’s biggest fear- Courtney hopes to never be unwoke.
Unwoke by Koalalover0613 June 27, 2018
More from Urban Dictionary

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
Short-hand for the word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).
After we broke up, he was floxi to me.
floxi by Dr. Geek May 13, 2009
Word of the Day on September 28, 2026
Load more