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Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.
"Dude, Ortiz just got beaned in the sack by a 95 mph fastball...He'll be shooting tardpoles from now on."
tardpole by MJDP May 4, 2008

tartmobile 

A vehicle that sells tarts to passersby on the street, often encouraging the purchase of a second tart, there for making the patron retarted.
Guy 1: Hey! Look! It's the tartmobile!
Guy 2: Great! I can't wait to be retarted!
tartmobile by The Bushmaster June 7, 2016

tardsome 

Norman left his laptop on his car roof, and drove off. It was tardsome.
tardsome by benth September 26, 2008

tarymore 

One who is skilled at handling large penises. Usually named Tyler.
Who is that person over there handling that penis so skillfully?
Oh, him? That's Tarymore.
tarymore by theurbanmessiah December 10, 2013

Tardnold 

A friend who's a (re)tard and walks fast with his head down and avoids conversations with others. He thinks he's cooler than his "friends" that carry Macbook Pros with his Lenovo Thinkpad. Also enjoys playing games with kids who are less than 10. He's also Jewish as he plays Combat Arms, APB, and all F2P games in general. Also, generally in a butthurt mood. Generally, a complete retard who's Jewish.
It's 7am. Our subject, Tardnold, is now in the mood for something a little "hardcore". he puts on his noise canceling gaming headset and goes to his pornographic website of choice. he finds a nice video and gets into position. unknown to tardnold, he forgot to lock his bedroom door, and his mother happens to bring him a plate of pancakes for breakfast. she is horrified at the site of this. her own son jacking off. she taps him on the shoulder, and he flips, accidentally dropping his laptop on the ground, and the plate of pancakes in his mother's hand. left on the ground is a mass of computer parts, maple syrup, and the semen of the subject. No laptop. No pancakes. No respect from his mother. Tardnold
Tardnold by Swaggatron October 23, 2011

Tarmoing 

To go for a beer in the evening once you are on a business trip
Let's go tarmoing this evening?
Tarmoing by GG loves Tarmo June 13, 2018
More from Urban Dictionary

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
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