pinihi
Pinihi is a surname curse, which made it's first appearance in Ziepniekkalns, Latvia, in the 11th century. It all started when a wise man, named Rodrigo, ventured up a hill, now named Ziepniekkalns, to find the love of his life - Zanda. He hiked the mountain, explored every centimeter with his Jānis Čakste outfit, called her with every cat meme imaginable - but there was no sign of Zanda. Eventually, he found a seemingly innocent looking apple. He put it in to his steamer trunk, so that he could devouver it later. After some time he found out, that Zanda isn't on Ziepniekkalns, in this location, that spanned from the depths of Šmerlis mežs to the hell now called Imanta. Rodrigo was devastated. It looked like life had finally destroyed him in to pieces. But, Rodrigo remembered about the apple. He took a bite out of the apple, but it had an uncanny taste to it. It was the panihi fruit. He spit it out, tried washing his mouth with the holy kvass he always had in his steamer trunk - but to no avail. He was cursed for eternity. Now he was Rodrigo Aplle for life. Not even Apple, but Aplle - because of the fat L he took. He has lived for over a thousand years, still unable to find Zanda to pass the curse on to and still unable to climb out of the dark pit of hell he got himself in to for eternity.
My friend got married yesterday and it felt like she ate a pinihi fruit. She changed her surname faster than anyone could imagine.
pinihi by prosta arturs & zandarts October 29, 2023
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