When taking a shit and mid way of it coming out you contract your schpincter muscle cutting the turd in one go resulting in a ghost wipe
Person 1: Hey bro, I just did a one slice dice
Person 2: What cut your panini in onego?
Person 1: Nah, cut my shit in half with my asshole and didn’t need to wipe
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)