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Somn-Onanist 

Robert: Why were you sleeping on the couch

Roy: Dude, your a Somn-onanist, it was nasty

Robert: NO WAY

Roy: Control yourself next time you have a fucking sleepover

conversational onanist 

A term for a person who talks to themself.
My husband has told me on numerous occasions that I am a most talented and prodigious conversational onanist.
Colloquially it is a synonym, but technically the "Sin of Onan" for which it is named for is actually an instance of coitus interruptus.
"Onanism -- it's a hands-on job"

-Ghost, ENTER THE MATRIX
Onanism by Jay Jay Ron March 20, 2008
to wank,
to tame the one eyed monster,
to make the cyclops cry,
man's favourite outlet,
a date with mrs palm and her five
lovely daugters,
toss yourself off,
etc etc
"now on the subject of onanism...we dont want to find you hunched double on the sofa bed pumping your fist" (league of gentlemen)
onanism by pinkpill December 1, 2004
from New Latin onanismus, from Onan, son of Judah (Gen 38:9),
masturbation, coitus interruptus, self-gratification.
Jon can'g get any, so he practices onanism.
Onanism by El Cid June 21, 2003

Arboreal Onanism 

Prior to killing Martha Moxley, Michael Skakel masturbated in a nearby tree. He was convicted of 1 count of arboreal onanism.
Arboreal Onanism by TwatCop September 23, 2005