nine-way 

Quite possibly the most sex anybody can have with a woman at once and keep it satisfying for everyone. This little-known sexual "position" consists of eight guys (or alternatively, shemales or maybe hermaphrodites) and one girl/woman (or hermaphrodite)for a total of nine people. The penises are allocated as follows: one in her mouth, one in her vagina, one in her rectum, one for each of her hands (making two), one for each of her feet (making two as well), and finally, one between her breasts. Needless to say, this requires some careful manoevering among the men in order to prevent knees and elbows from accidentally ending up in people's faces, and to avoid a general bruising up of all involved. The actual positioning of the people doesn't matter so much; as long as all of the above mentioned holes/surfaces are filled, it is an nine-way. This is one way to have an "instant orgy".

"Sooo...what were you up to this past weekend, dude?"

"On Saturday, I was busy with a nine-way."

"No way, dude?!?! How did you swing that?"

"Well, we were all sitting around recovering from the gnarly party last night, and we started talking about sex, and pretty soon we were all really horny. We were talking about nine-ways, so we just decided to try it."

"DUUUUUDE! Next time that happens, you better invite me, man; we could have had a ten-way!"

"I don't know; that chick was pretty much full, man; you could have tried for an armpit or something, I guess."

nine-way by A card in the wind January 1, 2006

Fucked nine ways to Sunday 

An expression used when an action or situation has not only fucked or will fuck you in multiple ways, but will leave you fucked for a long time afterwards.

I just got fired from my job and I'm late on the mortgage, am making payments on a car whose transmission is slipping, have maxed out credit cards I'm never gonna pay off, multiple accounts in collections and I still owe Bob a new grill when I ran it over drunk driving last weekend. I'm fucked nine ways to Sunday.

Cop: Sir, I need you to pop the trunk.
Guy: Got a search warrant?
Cop: Right here.
Guy: I'm fucked nine ways to Sunday...

John: Dude, Brock Lesnar's at the door waiting for you. Says he's real pissed about you slapping him in the back of the head then running off at the bar last night.
Bob: Oh shit, THAT'S who that was?
John: ...Dude, you're fucked nine ways to Sunday.

Fucked nine ways to Sunday by Yeret February 8, 2015