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we need to get on the payload 

I need some dog on help!

A voiceline from the popular game team fortress 2 which comes from the engineer when you press c + 1
Demoman : THAT ENGINEER IS A SPY

Engineer : I need some dog on help!

one day I poked my brother in the eye with an apple pencil. she cried and cried. it was pretty warm so I didnt need a blanket on the hot day of winter 

Confliction. Also, you’re not automatically funny by putting this into Urban Dictionary
Guy1: one day I poked my brother in the eye with an apple pencil. she cried and cried. it was pretty warm so I didnt need a blanket on the hot day of winter
Guy2: You’re an idiot.

Gregory, do you see that small vent on the floor? Have you heard Among Us, Gregory? You need to vent. I know it will be hard for you to be sus but I know you can do it Gregory. 

Freddy: Gregory, do you see that small vent on the floor? Have you heard Among Us, Gregory? You need to vent. I know it will be hard for you to be sus but I know you can do it Gregory.

i need to B my L on someone's Ts 

I need to Blow my Load on some Titties

an expression used in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Some variations:
gotta B my L on them TTs
i'm dying to B my L on someone's Ts
yo i gotta B my L on at least one T tonight.
Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now.

Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's Ts.

i need to B my L on someone's T's 

I Need To Blow My Load On Someone's Tits. (From the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall)
Rory: Hows the Sex Life?
Donnie: I Need To B My L On Someone's T's.
Rory: Me Too...