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mud fence 

(noun)

THEE ugliest damn fence you ever did see. Sloppy & just as effective a barrier between you & something pretty as a cock-blocking, acne-riddled, mongoloid chaperone with a staph infection. In literal terms: a fence, either taller or shorter than yourself, made with equal parts dirt & piss... with a sprinkling of rocks and shit thrown in. For flavor. (corn, not included)

A term of endearment for the exceptionally ugly.

*may or my not include an aroma.

If inhaled, please see your physician immediately. Prolonged viewing of a mud fence may result in a stain to your retinas. For the perverse: a desire to marvel at the antithesis of beauty, dark eye protection is required. Over-exposure WILL result in gut-wrenching nausea. Common, pink, OTC remedies will fail to relieve symtoms.

The only known cure for retinal burning &/or nausea is to smash a powdered aspirin into each eye after ingesting one tablespoon of cannabis oil, orally.

*if you are found waking up next to a mud fence it will be to your everlasting shame & you will need to smoke the cannabis oil. In such dire cases it is also recommended that you substitute the crushed aspirin in your eyes with rock salt, raw.
"And you thought the chick/dude I brought home last week was ugly?!? You should've seen the stacked pile of shit that Bob/Bobbie brought back from the bar! As pretty as a mud fence."

"I hope we get the cute (ant.) waitress. If I have to look at that mud fence I'll lose my appetite."

"Did you see the shed he built last year for his mother?! I've seen mud fences that looked better!"

"Is it just me, or does Billary/Hillary Clinton look like a fukn mud fence"

"John Kerry looks like a cross between Lurch, Festus & a mud fence"

"Have you seen that Michelle Obama (&/or) Diane Feinstein creature?! She's as attractive as a mud fence with fleas."

"I think he/she wanted to have relations with me. Eww. I'd rather drive head-first & naked into a mud fence."

"Koa got so hammered that he took that dwarf home! Did you see her?!? Holy shit, Dude. If I had a house as ugly as that mud fence, I'd burn that motha fucka to the ground. I don't care how good she is at head." -insert facepalm here

"OMG, Dude! It was horrendous... & forested! I'm fukn scarred for life, Yo. I've seen more attractive vaginas on probiscus monkeys. Like a hairy & hungry, soaked mud fence."
mud fence by WompyJaw April 19, 2014
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Mud Fence In The Rain 

Originally coined by my late father who was angry about somebody on TV, it's a very versatile expression that conveys the absolute worst of a situation, person, place, or thing. Best used as a wisecrack or in total exasperation, disbelief, or disgust.
Ex 1) "Ugh, man ... she's uglier than a mudfence in the rain!"

Ex 2) "That makes about as much sense as a mud fence in the rain."

Ex 3) "Jesus, this country is falling apart like a mud fence in the rain!"
Mud Fence In The Rain by Sizemore December 3, 2005

uglier than a mud fence 

Someone or something that is just too ugly to look at. Barely less hideous than fugly, but not by much.
OMG! That guy is uglier than a mud fence.
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