John Merrick

People Magazine's sexiest man alive for a record four times. Despite his overwhelming animal magnetism he maintains humility claiming: "I'm not an animal..." His universal sexual appeal makes women swoon and turns even the most macho men into fairy poofs like Tom Cruise, Sean Connery, Malcolm X, Jerry Falwell, Bear Grylls, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rosie O'Donnell, and the offensive line of the New England Patriots. The Real Doll company is allegedly planning to release a John Merrick doll complete with hood; it is safe to say that it will supplant "Charlie" as the best seller.

Ben: Hey Tom, with that three pounds of deli meat covering your body you kinda resemble John Merrick...
Tom: Really...that's unreal...I gotta go find a mirror to masturbate to while making sucking noises.

by Frank "ND" Giuffrida March 25, 2008

johnderrick

Can be funny and chill at times, but can also be a player for the ladies and a sweetheart when he wants to be. Relationships aren't his thing and if he is ever in one, he won't last long. He's a show off, can be a liar and mischievous but a cutie. Be aware.

Is that johnderrick what a hottie!!

by Fcknjasss December 4, 2019