Hold Hostage

When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.

I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Holding your sausage hostage

Masturbating
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
Slap boxing the one-eyed champ
Taking matters into your own hands
Squeezing the cream from the flesh twinkie
Having a date with Pam and her five friends
Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops
"the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger."

"Jeremy, finding himself all alone, with a ready supply of porn, decided to take his sausage hostage."

by Johnny Pot Smoker September 05, 2003

Holding your sausage hostage

Roughing up the witness.
A date with Rosy Palm and her five sisters.
Washing the goose's neck.

by Anonymous September 27, 2003

Holding your sausage hostage

roughing up the suspect.
rub one out.

Instead of holding the sausage hostage, I decided that I'd be roughing up the suspect.

by blotter November 17, 2003

Holding the sausage hostage

a wank

Chris: Hey Jack, whats an entertaining way to masturbate?
Jack: Try holding the sausage hostage.
Chris: Oh my god it works!

by the big bum December 09, 2020

Holding your kids hostage

Right!? It's totally like that!

Hym "It's like I'm holding your kids hostage... In a house where the door is WIDE open and my demands are... To not have my rights perpetually violated and to be paid for my own labor and property... And instead of, like, tying your kids up... I'm, like, not even watching them at all... And it's YOUR HOUSE.... And you're there in the house with me and can get me to leave whenever you want... And I'm giving YOU the ransom money... And I literally built you your own robot butler... Like... Literally. I literally allowed for robot butler to be an actual possibility IN OUR LIFETIME... ME! And your kid thinks I'm cooler than you... And I AM! AND! And... I don't want to be there... But I DO have a knife though and will stab the absolute piss out of everybody!"

by Hym Iam March 02, 2025

Holding the sausage hostage

Subscribing to Versinul (aka having a wank)

Chris: Hey Jack, whats an entertaining way to masturbate?
Jack: Try holding the sausage hostage.
Chris: Oh my god it works!

by the big bum December 09, 2020