A hipstermobile is a form of ironic transportation, used primarily to transport two
people -- usually a hipster and his or her
iPhone -- between various locales or events that the hipster deems to be important. It is a type of bicycle, specifically of a single speed with fixed gears, also known as a "fixie". Often, the bicycle chassis is painted over with a single solid color using spray paint. This eliminates the brand name from the bicycle, which might otherwise clash with the hispter's "local is better" ethos, and also because the spray paint amplifies the hipster's urban-chic identity.
The hipster sits on a banana seat closer to the rear wheel of the hipstermobile while the
iPhone sits on the handlebar in a specially-designed mount, available through Amazon.com. Whilst pedalling the hipstermobile, the hipster will issue voice commands to the
iPhone. Typical commands include:
"Take a photo of this ironic building and post it to my
Tumblr."
"Use
Wikipedia to find a virtually unknown folk band from circa 1982 and then Tweet it to everyone who follows me."
"Is there a free BYOB arts & crafts festival in a two-mile radius of my current location?"
"Go into my draft folder and send that plea for more money to my
parents."
Hipstermobiles are often spotted near cafes and post-gentrification diners, near arts & crafts festivals, and in parks during
normal peoples' working hours.
Dude, I just saw a grown man sitting on the curb crying. He looked to be cradling an
iPhone that had
fallen to its death from the handlebar of his hipstermobile. He couldn't even update his status to tell anyone about what had happened!
