haguar

A woman 50+ who picks up men in their 30s. Like a cougar, but even older.

Did Steve really go home with that haguar?

haguar by maurice-nyc February 2, 2008

Haguar

Noun, an older and undeniably unattractive evolution of the cougar. Marked by excessive drunkenness and a distinct lack of class.

"Hey those nasty old women are eyein' you man, got a couplea Haguars on your tail."

"Jane looks great at 45 but her haguar of an older sister still thinks she can dress like she's 20"

Haguar by madjack mcmad December 30, 2008

haguar

A leopard print wearing unattractive older cougar. Rhymes with jaguar.

Bob got picked up last night at the bar by a haguar.

haguar by Jim Ottawa December 9, 2008

Sammy Hagar paradox 

First seen in his song entitled "I Can't Drive 55" it describes the notion that it is physically impossible for Sammy Hagar to travel at the speed of 55 mph (miles per hour). No matter what mode of transportation whether it is a car, bike, airplane, etc, it is impossible for him to travel exactly 55 mph. The speedometer on any transportation device that Sammy Hagar occupies will never read the speed of 55 mph. Instead it will skip over 55 mph to 56 mph or 54 mph (depending on whether the vehicle is increasing or deceasing speed). Therefore, it is thought that perhaps Sammy Hagar possess some power that allows him to bend time and space to his will, but only at the speed of 55 mph. This act of bending time and space is currently being researched by Professor Stephen Hawking the British theoretical physicist.

I saw Sammy Hagar today in his car with one foot on the brake and one on the gas and i swear that he couldn't go 55 mph...its that damn Sammy Hagar paradox

When ever Sammy Hagar looks at a 55 mph speed limit sign it spontaneously combust

You can take Sammy Hagar's licence and post his face, wanted dead or alive, but it doesn't matter because he can't drive 55

Sammy Hagar paradox by El Oso Blanco June 23, 2010

Merle Haggard 

Something tried and true. As good as gold. Reliable.

That knot is a Merle Haggard, it will never come loose.

Merle Haggard by Patrick Roughen October 10, 2007

mad haggard

1) Whenever things get rough beyond all reasonable standards. An expression of an inability to make any headway against the fundamental ridiculousness of a shitty situation.

Pioneered by Adam and Josiah about halfway through a confusing trip in Eugene, OR, it quickly became a useful, though somewhat overused, descriptor for a lot the crap that life throws at you. It also evolved into a universal adjective to directly describe people and things as well as situations. Sometimes shortened to MH.

2) Can be used as a reply to a complaint. In this form it is descriptive, but takes on the additional sense of empathizing with the speaker, while also tacitly admitting that there isn't anything that can be done about the hopelessly fucked up situ.

A: "My shoes are untied, my headphones are all tangled, I can't find my shit, my nose is running and I don't know which way is up. I feel like a bag lady."
J: "Mad haggard, yo!"

"Damn, Roland is really pissing me off with all the bullshit he's making us do. Mad haggard--i'mma quit soon."

"George Bush is mad haggard."

J: "This sucks."
A: "MH."

mad haggard by Adamator November 10, 2008

Haggarday 

The day following a hard Friday (day or night) of drinking or other forms of debauchery, and the participants are looking and feeling haggard. The day preceding Sunday (only if previous conditions apply).

"If we drink too much, tomorrow might make for yet another Haggarday."

"Man, I got way too drunk last night. I'm not looking forward to this Haggarday."

Haggarday by Javier7 October 21, 2008