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first comment whore 

Noun: Any of the species of assholes that feel the need to get the first comment on something as if it actually meant something. These illiterate jackoffs can usually be found trolling Youtube, flash game websites, Myspace/Facebook, blogs, and other places where comments are enabled. There are rumors that these trolls can type faster than they can masturbate, however this is not true.
FCW: first

You: Nobody gives a shit. Fuck off

FCW: if u dont give a shit than y did u comment back

You: You are a donkey-fucker. Go scribble 'first' on the inside of some donkey's sexual organs you cock-smoking first comment whore

FCW: ur a nooob

You: *suicide*
first comment whore by Matty194 November 30, 2009

first comment 

A comment in which someone says FIRST!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then they get replies saying “lol stfu” or “lol that joke is dead”
MlgGamer21: FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!
annoyed shithead: lol stfu noob first comments are dead
first comment by Dontfuckwithme21 December 14, 2017

First comment fag 

An attention seeking idiot who actually thinks it's cool to be the first person to comment on an Internet article, video, post, blog, etc.

Sometimes, multiple fags do it at the same time, only to look like idiots, as shown below in ex.1.
ex. 1
news story's comments:
-FIRST!
-FIRST!
-FIRST!
-stop that shit it's getting annoying.

ex.2
some celebrity's facebook page:
-first!!!
-the guy who posted 'first' is a First Comment Fag! thumbs up if you agree!

first comment, first effect 

Accepting someones type of skill
*Tournament starts*
Person1: C'mon dude you are a pro at this, show it.
Person2: first comment, first effect

First To Comment, Last To Get Laid 

When a Facebook user trolls the person that insisted they were the first to comment on a public photo
Someone writes "First!!!", a comment later "First To Comment, Last To Get Laid".
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026