Person 1: Is that dude
talking to himself?
Person 2: Nah, he's got his d-bag tag in his ear.
Douchebag with a d-bag tag on: So I told him I wanted those accounts closed out by 3 p.m. and
the bastard went out golfing instead...
Cashier: (thinking) Man I wish this bastard would get off his d-bag tag long enough to get the hell out of my line.