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A piece of white trash that finds solace and spiritual healing in regular communion with methamphetamines.
Tyler doesn't feel so bad about pummeling his girlfriend since he became a crystal methodist.
by jed bob June 05, 2007
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Smokes crystal meth all night Saturday so they will be up and ready to go to church on Sunday. May smoke crystal meth more often than Saturday, possibly every day, but will never be seen smoking crystal meth by a fellow member of their congregation and will deny use of crystal meth if confronted by atheists, drug users, former addicts, or people who don't care in order to look like a pure, white clean Methodist saint. Some of the churches these folks go to ought to be called united methheadist church.
Cletus lived by the principles of his crystal Methodist religion.
by David Poole August 07, 2016
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A person with facial tattoos that refer to the Christian faith. This person is often stick-thin with an appearance most commonly associated with meth addicts. Crystal Methodists are most often found on the popular television show "Cops".
"Damn man, look at a this white trash!"

"Woah, be quiet Fred! You know there's a bunch of Crystal Methodists living around here! You'd be shot in a heartbeat!"
by Optimal11 December 14, 2013
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