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crassturbation

The act of masturbating at an extremely inappropriate time, with little respect for the feelings of others in the vicinity
John: Bob, we're at a fucking funeral, stop jerking off in the corner!
Bob: Why? Masturbation is perfectly healthy!
John: That's not masturbation, that's crassturbation.
Bob What's that?
John: Look it up on Urban Dictionary.
crassturbation by derpymuffins June 18, 2014

craftsterbation 

(n.) lusting over projects on craftster.org or the process of crafting.
Millie has her door shut and all I can hear is the rhythmic thudding and whirring of her sewing machine. I think she's craftsterbating again.
craftsterbation by betsy January 20, 2005

Crysterbation 

Mike was so upset that his girlfriend cheated on him that he spent the entire night crysterbating while listening to The Cure.

Larry is really into crysterbation, especially since his wife left him.
Crysterbation by Jizzonneh December 12, 2007

Crapsturbating 

The act of masturbating while taking a crap.
I ate mexican food, then watched some dirty movies and spent the whole day crapsturbating.
Crapsturbating by HardShralpingWy February 28, 2011

craftsterbation 

Term coined to describe habitual visits to crafting website/subsequent craft making.
1.)The process of compulsively lusting over projects on the hipster crafting website www.craftster.org
2.) describe the process of crafting, or creating crafts
"Millie has her door shut and all I can hear is the rhythmic thudding and whirring of her sewing machine. I think she's craftsterbating again.
craftsterbation by RachoftheJungle January 29, 2005

crasterbation 

Jerking off with your own tears. Made popular by the movie "Waiting"
"...like that time you beat off using your own tears as lubricant(crasterbation)?"
"That was only once, and I was drunk."
crasterbation by Jorpy12 June 19, 2006