The only judge on American Idol that gives constructive critisism and an honest opinion. He's the entire reason for watching this show that was lame from the start. He wears tight black shirts (most of the time) and likes to tease Ryan Seacrest. That washed-up pop diva Paula Abdul is just one more punch on the arm away from getting Britishly bitchslapped by Mr. Cowell.

*No apologies to the American public are necessary.*
Simon Cowell: I hated it.

Paula: Oh, grow up! *punches Simon on the arm for the 50th time that episode*

Simon: THAT'S IT! *backhands Paula* Now you'll REALLY need those painkillers.
by mosnar June 6, 2006
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The judge on American Idol who makes the show worth watching. He always breaks it to the contestants who can't sing that they suck, and always has something extremely critical to say. He's why the show's such a success; his critiques are actually pretty funny when u think about it.
In Season 5, after giving an (overweight) woman a golden ticket, Simon Cowell remarked "I hope they made the stage bigger this year." At first, this might seem really harsh. But when you think about it, he's actually really funny!
by blogger_08 January 19, 2006
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Guy1: So I was out last night with this girl, when I realiz...,
Guy2: Shut up!
Guy1: Why do you always Simon Cowell me!
by Icy Wyte December 9, 2016
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A funny, intelligent, honest, not to mention sexy judge on American Idol. Yes, the show is shit. He, however, is not. He's the only judge who actually has an opinion, and he gives it freely. He speaks his mind.
Simon Cowell is sexy.
by Ophelia Desdemona May 4, 2005
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A judge on American Idol who is known for being brutally honest towards contestants. However, little do people know that Mr. Cowell is simply playing a role; he is often considered to be the 'bitchy one' out of the trio which people either love him or hate him for.

Simon is often worshipped by naive tweens for being 'harsh' or 'badass', when in reality he is only a token critic.
Simon Cowell himself even admitted that part of his antics were for sheer publicity reasons, not because he actually cared about giving a proper critique.
by Pragmatic Realist November 16, 2007
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for the record there is no such thing as 'british idol'. we dont all need some simple stab at patriotism to get us to watch a programme. also he doesnt earn millions for doing nothing. he has signed many big names and hardly makes anything comparitivly from any of the idols
get your facts straight
by raelone May 7, 2005
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A depressed,lonely bastard, who is known well for being a dick to many singers and dancers along with many other talented people and also is on AMERICA IDOLE, a show clearly for fucking 14 year old bitches or extremely fat woman who well believe this defination is what they call HEART BREAKING.
Boy:I just completed guitar hero on extreme for every song!
Simon Cowell:Well I am only going to say this once, I will pay you to stop, now fuck off you little mistake.
by sexybeast1023 February 20, 2011
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