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confusianism

Advice, sayings, or answers that sound similar to something Confusius would say. They often don't make sense and sound weird.
Tom: Why would you make me drive stickshift? I don't know how!

Erik: Tom, driving stickshift is good character, and helps build good moral fiber.

Tom: ok. I don't need your confusianism.

Confucianism 

The ethical system of Confucius, the Chinese philosopher and teacher of ethics (551-479 BCE), emphasizing moral order, the humanity and virtue of China's ancient rulers, and gentlemanly education. Confucius was born Kong Zhong-ni, in the shih (knight) class in the state of Lu about 551 BCE. Most biographical information derives from the Analects, which are the collected sayings of the Master. Confucius aspired to governmental office and there is a tradition he was a minister in the government of Lu for a time. Confucius special goal in life was to restore the culture and tradition of China to the ideal set forth in the time of the Duke of Zhou. He saw himself as transmitting ancient tradition, not innovating new ideas. His efforts were not appreciated and he was consistently rebuffed in attempts to gain more important offices he felt were his due. So Confucius turned to education to achieve his goals setting up a school to train disciples in his ideals. Perhaps because of the trials of his youth, Confucius never turned his back on the common man and no pupil, no matter how poor was turned away from the school. Though he had a full life teaching in Lu and seeing his students gain high public office, by his 50s Confucius became irritated at the lack of progress in moral reform and disillusioned by the lack of public moral leadership in the ruling class. He decided to travel to other states and try and educate other rulers and find a way to put his principles into practice.
While he was well received and offered responsible positions in other states, he never found anyone with the moral commitment to restore the Zhou society. After a decade of wandering, Confucius, now nearly 70, returned to Lu. Outwardly, he felt that he had failed, for no ruler adopted his practices and he had not attained a significant office from which to effect change. Nevertheless, his wanderings as the gathered and trained pupils sowed the seeds of future change, as these disciples would fan out across China to carry his message and transform society. The heart of Confucian scripture has always been the Five Classics. As they finally took shape in a later era, these included: The Classic of History (Shujing), recording the words and actions of the sage-rulers from the ancient, prehistoric Yao period to the early Zhou period; The Classic of Poetry (Shijing), some 300 poems mostly from early Zhou times exemplifying moral virtue and poetic beauty; The Classic of Changes (Yinjing), a book of divination with explanations and commentary explaining the patterns of the universe; The Classic of Rites (Lijing) the detailed account of the rituals and ceremonies of the sage-kings and their meaning and significance, plus philosophical teaching; and The Spring and Autumn Annals (Chunqiu) recording events in Lu 722-481 BCE with commentaries. Apparently a sixth classic, the Classic of Music was lost. The Confucianism path of transformation is based on these texts.

Confusimonism 

A body of beliefs and related practices created by the prophet Simon in 2012. Characterized as a religion, Confusimonism teaches that it is permissible and desirable to have multiple partners that fill the varying needs of each individual. Typical relationships may include but are not limited to; baby momma/daddy, girlfriend/boyfriend, sex idiot, roommate, chef/housekeeper, personal assistant. While members may choose to marry, monotony (otherwise known as monogamy) over an extended period of time is a frowned upon practice.
In practicing Confusimonism I’ve found true fulfillment and enlightenment.
Confusimonism by Tongue Punch January 9, 2013

Confusionist 

A person who Is always starting drama.
Look at Brooke! She's lying again just to start drama! what a confusionist.
Confusionist by Jason xP May 31, 2011

Confusiasm 

To be very excited and enthused about something that you do not fully understand. A mixture of confusion and enthusiasm.
Joe showed incredible levels of confusiasm when he expressed how excited he was about going out.. but didnt know where he was going.
Tom - "I cant wait to see that film!! its gonna be the best!"
Chip - "why?"
Tom - "I dont... know..."
Chip - "thats some confusiasm you are showing there..."
Confusiasm by XopsX June 4, 2008

confusionist 

(noun)
one who is a player and wants in your pants as fast as possible by any means. but others warn the prey, and the player is caught. the player denies the accusations and plays sweet. then just stops talking all together, leaving the prey in a state of confusion.
Michael is such a confusionist; he stopped talking to Sarah right after she was warned he uses girls.
confusionist by Mel =] May 27, 2008
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Oh man those burritos gave me the throat sweats, I hope I don’t have food poisoning.
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Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
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piddlefart

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Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
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