chocolate teapot 

UK: A chocolate teapot is an utterly useless item. Alternative terms also used are chocolate fireguard and chocolate kettle.

Refering to a useless or pointless item /deed /action /incapable person: "as much use as a chocolate teapot"

chocolate teapot by Clansman April 22, 2009

Chocolate teapot 

where one takes a shit, don't wipe, and then teabags yo gurl.

M: hey babe, can I make you a chocolate pot of tea
F: uh, babe, you mean a chocolate teapot?
M: oh yeah, that. let's do that. I'm glad you remembered for me. let us.

Chocolate teapot by MizzSrirowskiacha June 4, 2018

Chocolate teapot 

UK: Insult used in the military when a recruit is either accident prone, clumsy, just plain slow or a combination of these.

Variations include:
Chocolate kettle
Chocolate fireguard.

PRIVATE you have left your safety catch of AGAIN...YOU ARE A SLOB, you are about as much use as a fekin' CHOCOLATE TEAPOT!, etc, etc....

Chocolate teapot by Blue Cawdrey November 22, 2004

Chocolate Teapot

when you stop during sex to shit in a tea kettle, and drip it over your partner while you cum

she asked if we had an electric kettle or if she needed to bring her own chocolate teapot

Chocolate Teapot by pinkgogurt October 24, 2025

Chocolate Teapot

Used when referring to someone being useless, like a chocolate teapot who would melt when hot liquid is added

Scott is as useful as a chocolate teapot!

Chocolate Teapot by Jamcc- June 6, 2026

Chocolate Teapot

To describe someone as being useless, or not useful, as is a chocolate teapot which would melt when being used for its primary function of storing hot liquids

Scott is as useful as a Chocolate Teapot!

Chocolate Teapot by Jamcc- June 7, 2026

Its about as useful as a chocolate teapot. 

NOT USEFUL AT ALL

Bill: do you think my having my old things is useful?
Sam: Its about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Bill: umm ok?

Its about as useful as a chocolate teapot. by Biggest_Hamilton_Fan October 22, 2020