Captious

A guy or girl who loves to correct petty things. See also: Grammar Nazi
Also a cool insult to use for those who justifiably do not know what this means.

Some guy: Hey man!
Some man: Why's your shoe untied?
Some guy: *looks down* Ha, you got me.
Some man: No, seriously. It's not tied 'cause it's tied the wrong direction!
Some guy: *hard facepalm* Captious idiot...

LATER, CONTINUING TO BE CAPTIOUS:
Some man: Also that other guy who made a definition for this is wrong

Captious by warrobotsalt February 2, 2019

captious

adj- the most versatile word in existence, it has no singular definition, but rather modifies any noun in the english language. this maddeningly annoying word is often found in memory tests, sometimes prompting test-takers to vomit with rage. can also support suffix addenda.

1. not only is joe a douchebag, but he's a captious motherfucker.

2. to hell with this captious-ass memory test, i'm going to smoke some delectible stogies and swill some hooch.

captious by Klamson! February 22, 2007

captious

Tending to find and call attention to faults.

A captious teacher

captious by NerdGirl0512 May 21, 2021

Cautiously Pessimistic 

An increasingly relevant wordplay on the cliché "cautiously optimistic". As the world continues in free fall, its much more realistic to expect negative outcomes. Therefore, its much more pragmatic to maintain a cautiously pessimistic demeanor, rather than a cautiously optimistic one.

My cat is always cautiously pessimistic when inspecting anything new that I bring into the house.

Cautiously Pessimistic by ChimneySweepGreg August 10, 2012

Youtube captions 

A tool on Youtube that changes speech to text. It's notoriously unreliable.

*Youtube captions enabled

Person in video: "And there was light."
Caption: "Andy ear weasel eight."

Youtube captions by Andymii January 21, 2016

penis captivus 

A proposed scenario where, during sex, the vaginal muscles suddenly close around the penis, lodging it in the vagina and keeping it stuck there. It's been said that, should this occur, even after the errection dies down, it would require surgery to fix this. No real occurence has happened thus far.

"My boyfriend has this paranoid fear of penis captivus so we rarely have orgasms."

penis captivus by Bowman June 16, 2002

cautious carol 

One who,in a videogame or real life, tends to move around and do nothing to help anyone... A person cautious about everything they do and is a better distraction than anything. This is usually caused by a lack of skill or just being a really big pussy.

"Damn it, Hes being a cautious carol again,hes not doing shit except hiding."

*friend* " Its better than the guy on my team giving the other team kills, hes a negative nathan"

cautious carol by Mrredandblack August 19, 2009