bellisinic

A popular slang term for one who demonstrates extreme sexiness. Believed to be derived from ancient pre-classical Greek warrior, Bell's Esenech.

Excerpt from "Annotated History of Pre-Classical Greek: A Modern Author's Look on Pagan Influences in Culture Today".

It was 420 BC, Greek style. The War was on, and you knew it like a bad hand to the face. A sound alerted me. I whipped out my hand gun, but it was too late. The sound of a short, pale Scottish warrior hit my ears.

Wait, no. A small, short, pale pseudo Scotsman! The scum of the earth! He stood before me, dressed in nothing but his SJP hat. With a howl, I noticed my eyes were gone from the burning of the sight.

And from that day forth the souls of babies began to be eaten, the flesh of innocents' mouths ripped from their bodies, the players of Halo owned, for who could stop Bobby Morgan, the epitomy of evil, if not me.

A mighty cry aroused me. A warrior stood above the pack. Clad entirely pink, the figure strode seven leagues in a bound and grasped the Shank the torso. The demon gnashed his teeth and wailed, blinded by the glory of the man. Nay, not a man. Man is not a fitting word for this being. He can only be called:

Bellsinic, a true autorgus, the Bull's Eslenic, and a friend of the gods. He was born of seven suckling ewes, who he consumed whole as a child. He was raised in the farms near Athens and carried rocks to the rock pile, for his farm was small and did not produce much grain, but he was happy and rejoiced, for he was strong! At four, the Greek age of manhood, he immeadiately rode seven virgin females at once, taking their lives in his frenzied pleasure.

His mistake haunted him and he cut off his peni....left finger in shame. But his feats of greatness were only beginning. He then conquered all of western South Africa and went on to win the Most Awesome Nobel Prize for Insane Manhoodliness ...Prize, otherwise known as the MANPIMP prize. Despite of this, he dedicated his life ot the art of beastliniess in the name of good and went on to beat the crap out of several thousand nameless hobos trying to pick a fight. Or so he says.

And then he died. And beat the crap out of Satan. And fought his way out of hell. And created the telephone. And founded SJP. And New Orleans. Yeah, that's right. It wasn't effing La Salle, Agent Q. So screw that, right?

Anyway, back to the story. Bellisinic beat the crap out of Hank and wang slapped him. He wouldn't butt rape him, though. That would be degrading.

bellisinic by Dicaepolis September 29, 2005

bellistics

Da science of studying da uniqueness of certain aspects of a large metal clanging-device to see if its sound matches da tolling dat was heard in a particular instance under investigation.

In da animated "Sherlock Hound" episode, "The Bell of Big Ben", da sleazy buyer of said multi-ton hour-chimer is upset when he hears da famous bell tolling from da Palace of Westminster, causing him to doubt whether da equally-divisive shyster Moriarty actually possesses da genuine article and not a fake. Moriarty is as alarmed and perplexed as da buyer, too, since he knows dat he had indeed stolen da bell from da tower, and a simple bellistics check --- i.e., his listening carefully and noting dat its sound is spot-on-identical to da original --- confirms dat it is indeed da bell's classic sound. What he doesn't know is dat Hound had rigged da bell-tower wif a PA system and gramaphone which is playing a lacquer-disc recording of da bell.

bellistics by QuacksO January 19, 2024